Like lots of folks, I begin autumn on August 1st and end it Nov 1st, with three harvests in between - and we're coming up on the final harvest, when all the things you've planted - physically, mentally, psychically, spiritually - come home to roost. (Mixed metaphor - let it go - I haven't had my coffee yet.) Harvest doesn't always give us what we want, but it invariably gives us what we need for our personal growth.
I remember many years ago when I first started to lift heavy - I didn't understand why I had so much trouble with bench pressing, because I was strong in daily life. Finally a guy (this was before the advent of separate weight rooms for men and women) told me that I wasn't actually pushing - I was just tensing up all my muscles and thinking I was pushing. And he was right. I did the mental, then the physical adjustment, and the bar went up easily.
I, and maybe you, expend tremendous amounts of energy thinking about doing something. We prepare to do it, we rehearse it, we want it done, we see it done in our minds' eyes, but somehow the actual *doing* gets lost in the shuffle. The amount of time and energy I've spend griping and grieving over the (mostly clean - or at least it was) laundry spread all over the house far exceeds the amount it would have taken to fold it and put it away.
I approach loathsome activities, like cleaning floors, as if it will take all day, and rallying to do a day-long Yuck Task is very difficult, so the floors get worse and worse. If I'd just done the stupid floors in the beginning, it would have taken an hour, max, but by the time I've finished putting it off, it really does take most of the day.
Even things I know (or suspect) I'll enjoy - going for a walk, working on a book, meditating - gets put off until it appears monumental, instead of the pleasant little activity it was in the beginning. In terms of weight loss, it's "Oh dear God, I have to lose the weight of your average 8 year old - by tomorrow!" instead of realizing that a 5% loss in a couple months is a lot easier to approach and far, far less stressful to contemplate.
So after a year (or a lifetime) of waiting for some situation to reach crisis proportions and then declaring "All hands on deck!" and devoting a day, a week, or whatever was necessary to accomplish The Dreaded Task, this year I decided I'd try sowing a little moderation in everything. Less frantic activity, less planning and more gentle doing.
The harvest that seems to be coming in is mixed, but useful. I haven't lost any weight in a long time - even gained a bit, I suspect (my floors are so uneven, I can gain or lose 15 lbs my moving my foot) - but I am eating things besides raw or roasted vegetables.
I had the house in hand, but considered it "done" rather than "temporarily okay" and so now it looks almost like an episode of Hoarders - apparently I'm still working on the concept of doing a little each day rather than devoting whole weeks to overhauling my environment.
I did get a book out in time for Halloween, although it was only about a quarter the book I had in mind - but I understand that there's time for rewriting and all that later on. Meanwhile, there are new writing projects and a new Etsy shop in the works - and they can be approached gently, and like the enjoyable things they are, rather than rushed projects with only deadlines and profit margins as the end products.
In the diet and exercise world, I've finally figured out that *draws a deep breath* moderation really is key. A new exercise regimen doesn't have to begin with paralytic soreness, and new diet ideas, like juicing, don't have to be all or nothing - I now enjoy a green juice once or twice a day, but have regular food the other times. I know you've been telling me this for years, and my mother, God rest her, spent my entire lifetime trying to pound those concepts into me.
I spent most of last week sleeping - I don't know if I was fighting off a bug or just giving my subconscious time to assimilate some new ideas, but I woke at dawn this morning, ready to tackle the day. Notice how, for once, I didn't say "Tackle my Life"?
So this harvest seems to be a blend of Just Do It! and De-stress Rather Than Destruct. Carrying things in manageable amounts rather than Lazy Man's Loads. Breaking big tasks into a series of smaller ones. And instead of, "Oh, dear God, winter's just around the corner!", seeing October as the gift of 31 separate and wonderful days in which to work on accomplishing what I want in my life.