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Fell off the SP wagon. I think I'm back. Not sure.

Sunday, October 06, 2013

I don't know what to say. I worked so hard this summer & it got me no where. In June (when school let out) I started the Supreme 90 System with the goal of making some major physical changes over the next 3 months so that when I returned to work in September I would hear, "Wow, what did you do?"

I ate healthy from my garden. I exercised damn near every day. I got to day 58 in the program (skipped days for Zumba and also family vacation) which I thought was a valiant effort. I took a day 1 picture & found that day 30 looked exactly the same. Almost reached day 60 but didn't bother taking a pic because again I looked exactly the same. I found an online group using the program & they were using like 25 pound weights. I had 8 pounders. I want to slim down, not look like a body builder. Whatever.

So when school started back up I looked back at my weight graph & found that.... over the summer I gained 2 pounds. Ugh. Disgust. I've been so driven & dedicated & I'm just STUCK. I'm 5 pounds from a normal BMI & 10 pounds from my goal although I could probably lose 15.

It was around that time that my chiropractor came across a healing modality involving trapped emotions. We were playing with this & found I had ANGER which we cleared & I have had major changes in the way I react to situations/people that has brought me so much relief & joy that it's hard to believe. So we looked into my inability to lose weight & found OVERWHELM. It made sense so we got rid of that & for about 2 weeks I just didn't care about my weight or my goals or exercising. I didn't have the interest or drive anymore. It was just gone. I could not imagine that this was a good thing.

I forced myself to go to Zumba class & loved the energy & atmosphere. My love for exercise is coming back but my need for it has changed from a psychological need to a physical one. It's so weird. I've had a few weeks of healthy eating & exercising fairly regularly again but to my disappointment - the scale continues to hold steady. I am beginning to think that I should just change my GOAL WEIGHT to my current weight & keep on keepin' on. I just hate stressing about it. It is exhausting. So what if my BMI is still in the overweight range. I started out obese & am so much healthier and have boatloads of energy. I kinda like my body the way it is.

So that's about it. That's where I'm at. *A new limbo*. We'll see where this takes me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You look so great in your pictures! emoticon emoticon
    2007 days ago
  • TERRI289
    Welcome back...I know the feeling of working hard and having nothing happen. I had knee surgery and I have been slowly losing weight since then. No cardio except for struggling on crutches..who knows?

    I think that our bodies really have a mind of their own. I think releasing emotions has to help...

    Hang in there!!! emoticon
    2022 days ago
    Hi Missy!! Oh how one little item like the scale can have such an effect on our motivation and spark. I just have to ask in regard to the Supreme 90, did you take measurements beside weighing yourself when you started and at the 60 day mark? Do your clothes feel any looser? Sometimes we get caught up with what the scale reads (me included) & forget about all the other NSV's (more energy, looser clothing) that play such an important role in this journey. I've been struggling lately too, but I'm not giving up on myself. I've worked too hard and the support on SP is awesome. I care about you spark friend. Don't give up!!! You are worth the effort!!

    P.S. I've been doing Chalean Extreme which is working out with heavy weights. I'm lifting 1/2 the weight that they are on the DVD, but that's ok, they say to work your way up & i'm sweating like crazy.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2022 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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