ADZY86

SparkPoints
 

5. To not feel anxious about seeing someone I haven’t seen for a long time...

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Oooops forgot to post Day 5 reason yesterday...ah well. Better late than never...

...and wondering what my weight was the last time they saw me

I've been quite the yo-yo dieter in the past. I've never got to goal weight (whatever that is), but I have been 210lbs at my highest weight and 181lbs at my lowest. Because I'm tall, it does take quite a lot of weight loss before it becomes noticeable, but around 183-ish people do notice. I've been down there 3 or 4 times, and my friends and people around me are the type that notice and comment. My weight can fluctuate between those figures in the space of, hmmm, 3 months! Literally! I haven’t quite got up to 210lbs again (thankfully) but not far off. That means that I can never really remember what weight I was the last time I saw someone. It mortifies me that someone who would’ve commented on how great I look, could then see me just a short few months later and I've gained over 15lbs again. I always wonder if they're looking at me thinking 'how does she do that?' lol If only they knew! ha

As much as it does boost me when someone notices I've lost weight, part of me wishes they wouldn’t because I know how it's gone in the past. I always say 'this is the last time 'but who really knows?! I know that right this very minute I'm feeling comfortable about my progress, I'm feeling almost like it's too easy, that I'm in my groove and I'm getting into a routine, so I do hope THIS is the end of my yo-yo'ing. So no more having to worry about what I looked like before.

It's my 27th birthday in just under 6 weeks, and I wouldn’t have seen a lot of my friends in about 2 or 3 months (maybe even more; a lot of my friends are scattered around London and/or the England). I always do something for my birthday, something active (we went ziplining one year, all did a 5K Zombie Run last year; it's become a joke in my circle that I'm the one who never just wants to go for a meal haha). Anyway, this year I'm planning for us all to go on a Murder Mystery night, which will be so much fun. About 20 of us. So I have 6 weeks. I'm so on track right now so I know I'll be feeling great that day.

Happy Saturday everyone. I'm off to view a new flat (apartment)….whoooop!
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  • STRONGCOURAGE
    Oh man, I hate this one! I dread seeing people I haven't seen in a long time....esp after the first time I start really putting on weight, a lady I hadn't seen in a couple years, just looked at me (even though I was with my sisters and she knows my family) and was like "Oh its you??? I didn't even recognize you!" I was so hurt, and thought she was so RUDE to say that aloud, she could have just thought it :P But hey, maybe that was just my personal *fat* feelings-:P From that time onwards, I really hated meeting ppl I haven't seen for awhile...because (although not as fast as you) I'd lose weight (usually 15 lbs over the summer) and get loads of compliments and then gain weight (more than 15lbs over the winter!) and get the beating around the bush comments..."you look well" or "your eyes are pretty"...(face compliments etc.) I even had a very dear family member tell me I looked healthy when I was over 240 lbs!!! CRAZY huh? I was so hurt, then and there, I knew even my own family was lying to me, or being deceived into lying to themselves and me! (even worse!) BUT thank God, we are changing!!!! Woo hoo!!! :)))) emoticon
    2611 days ago
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