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yikes - TMI really

Saturday, October 05, 2013

So of my immediate family I'm the only one not obese. It's true, I'm also the one who was always athletic and yet as I get older it's more and more of a struggle. Both of my sisters have been trying to change their lives with some success. I'm quite proud of them. They have a long way to go but one of them did a 5k last month and the other one has started walking.

So for background, we grew up really poor. There is no way something like that cannot have an affect on you later in life. I'd rather not go into it, but there are things like a tendency towards hoarding going on in the family no doubt because of having to do without.

Fast forward to my sister and her husband driving home from the 5k. She said that she really had a good time and wants to do that again. She mostly walked it and was worried about being last so she was excited about her time and is quite jazzed on it. She said that maybe next time she'd try running a bit.

He said something that I think was a bit insensitive about how if she would lose some weight she would have an easier time of it. I think he realized that he had overstepped a bit. It isn't like she doesn't try you know. So apparently he started rambling which turned into him talking about how I work out all the time and do all these races and group bike rides and this triathlon and I'm still pudgy and how he thinks that she, I, and our other sister have "food issues" from growing up poor.

I kind of wish she hadn't told me any of this because this BIL and I have never gotten along for other reasons entirely. She's 10 years older so when they started dating somehow he decided that he was going to be this father figure to me that I neither needed nor wanted.

I can't decide how I feel about it. Fact is, he could be right. I remember times as a kid when we didn't have enough food. I remember the hand-me-down clothes, shoes with holes in the toes, not being able to do a lot of the things my friends were doing because we didn't have the money.

Now I have a good job and not that I'm spoiled but there are times when yea maybe I use that as an excuse to indulge. I bought a pricey bike computer because I wanted it and I bought it - so there.

My husband doesn't really understand any of this. He grew up somewhere on the line between upper middle and lower upper class; private school, brand new car when he turned 16, trips to Europe...

Other than it kind of hurting my feelings and knocking the wind out of my sails to hear my that my BIL called me "cute and confident but you know a bit pudgy" I have to consider that my relationship with food may have something to do with the way I grew up.

I'm just not quite sure what to make of it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _MOBII_
    We all have our past and issues of how we deal with it. We grew up poor as well so I totally know where you are coming from.
    I don't know what to say about BIL, I probably would have told him EXACTLY what I thought of his comment, but that's because I am shy and reserved, lol!
    1661 days ago
    I'd have a hard time knowing what to do with that too; I really don't think it's anyone else's place to comment on my weight except my doctor.

    My guess is that "more will be revealed" in time with regard to whether or not the past/food connection is valid for you.

    You are valued and fantastic just the way you are.

    1661 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/5/2013 10:52:59 PM
    he is pretty bald do there is that
    1661 days ago
    That would sting no matter what kind of relationship you have with BIL - I'm sorry you had to hear that - please tell me he has crooked teeth, a paunch and thinning hair??
    1661 days ago
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