1. To not feel like the fat friend anymore
Tuesday, October 01, 2013
I always, always, ALWAYS feel like the fat one in my group. Throughout school, through university, with the friends I work with, and my group of friends I now hang out with. I have always felt (and always been) the biggest one in the group. And it's not even like I have super skinny friends. They are just all pretty much in the normal-to-slightly-overweight weight group.
One of the most hurtful times I can think of which happened recently was when I went on a 2-day spa weekend with my 2 best girlfriends, LL and LB. It was beautiful and so relaxing. However whilst they were posing in the mirror in their bikinis taking pictures and dancing around, I was wrapped up in my towel feeling self-conscious and not getting involved in the picture-fun. I felt left out. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I didn’t want to get into the Jacuzzi or in the sauna because then I would have to lose the towel and they would be looking at me. I felt horrible.
I don’t want to feel like that again. We (me, LL and LB) were talking about going abroad together at the end of November for mine and LL's birthdays, just a week away to somewhere like Spain or Portugal. I am determined not to feel like the big fat friend anymore. I don't want to let this weight ruin my experiences with my friends anymore.