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More Hilarious parenting tweets

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

The chances of a baby falling asleep are inversely proportional to the desperation of the parent for it to be so -Ben Reynolds

You may travel and enjoy things I never will, but you Child-Free Lifers will never know the glory of the 43 second nap. -Li’l Edie Surly

There are no words to describe what parenting is like. Only screams and songs. -Charlie N Andy

It’s water under the bridge, but I’m still kinda pissed at my husband for loudly munching those crispy wontons during my contraction. -Ana Gasteyer

What do you call two people who have to reschedule an important meeting because neither one had enough coffee to function? Parents. -BadParentingMoments

Me: "No" Me 2 minutes later: "No" Me 5 minutes after that: "No" 5 yr old: "So maybe in a few minutes?" -Stella G. Maddox

"MOM WE'RE FINE I'M ON THE TOILET AND ELLA PEED IN THE TUB 'CAUSE SHE COULDN'T HOLD IT." These two will trash an NFL player's house one day. -Suburban Snapshots

My kid’s school picture really captures the moment right after P.E. -Peyton Price
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