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When it hurts so bad

Monday, September 30, 2013

I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. We had a long distance relationship. He is a senior in college. He is 3 years younger than I am. He lives 2 hours away and we would see each other every weekend. We switched off each weekend, he would visit me I would visit him. We spoke every night. He talked about a future together, a lot. He loved me, cares for me, and respects me. We had our normal little disagreements that every couple has. We never argued maliciously. We respected each other and talked through it. We never called each other names and only a few times did we raise our voices. We never got into screaming matches. I would express how hard the long distance can be sometimes but the relationship we had was worth it. People would always come up to us and tell us we are a great couple. Close family and friends made comments about us getting married. People in public thought we were married, seriously there have been numerous times people had referred to us a a married couple. We had an excellent relationship. He treated me like no one I have ever been with. He had his insecurities about his life, where he is going, whats going to happen when he graduates, who he is. He puts a lot of pressure on himself and expects the best.

This weekend out of no where he broke up with me. He said he needs his space to think about things and figure things out in his life. This came out of nowhere. Everyone was shocked, blown away, that this happened. I'm angry and confused. I tried so hard to fight for the relationship and let him know I'm here for him and willing to work through this because of how much we love each other and the type of relationship we have. This isn't the kind of relationship that people think will fail. Everyone knew we were meant for each other. It was a very mature relationship and we made it work considering the things that were against us. I don't understand why all of a sudden he needs his space and time to think about things and where he is going. He has expressed these concerns last year and tried to be there for him. He is the kind of man who needs to be the provider and he has expressed before that he feels like he can't give me what I need. I feel like his pride and insecurities are getting in his way and he is giving up on this relationship. I'm hurt and angry and I don't know how to feel anymore. I'm confused and he was confused. I'm giving him what he wants, his space.
How do you deal with this and move on. I am doing a lot better than I thought I would but I don't know if I can move on if he never wants to make this work. He was my rock, the love of my life, the person I wanted to spend my life with. I have been in relationships before and this one was much different, yea every girl says that, but I never had these type of emotions for anyone before and I saw a future with him, we had that kind of relationship. We communicated, we trusted each other, we never disrespected one another. He is a one woman kind of man, and would never betray me. This is the type of man he is and I feel like he just gave up on me and this relationship. I'm so confused and any insight would be really helpful during this difficult time.
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  • ALLIE4993
    Thanks Evie4Now. I am going to do exactly that. I guess it's just really frustrating because it came out of nowhere and I told him I'm willing to be there for him and understand exactly where he is coming from. I just hope it does work out and he realizes he made a mistake.
    1668 days ago
    You wrote an earlier blog about changes in your life and time to figure things out. Maybe that's where he is? Perhaps you relayed that to him and he wants to do the same (just with a different part of his life) and wants to be free to be objective? Senior year can be really tough and makes you think about the future. Let him have his space and if it's meant to be he will be back.
    1669 days ago
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