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Feeling very ugly and depressed.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

I'm so lonely and bored and depressed and blah lately. I just feel so flattened. Last weekend, Daughter was away with friends and Husband and I were going to have a date. I woke up Saturday morning sick, so we weren't able to do anything. Daughter ended up going away again yesterday, to a day camp, so we were going to try the date again. Then he said he just wanted to stay home. Usually, that's fine, but I had so been looking forward to going out last week and was so disappointed when we couldn't. We've hardly had sex at all this year. We went from January to May with absolutely nothing. That's five months. Then, we did it a couple of times, but haven't done it since. We didn't even do it on our anniversary in July. I was feeling really frustrated about this last night, when he went to go take a shower. Then I took a shower and when I was in there I just started thinking about how it seemed like more of an obligation for both of us, instead of us genuinely wanting to. It's hard to explain. But I just wasn't in the mood. And it's not like I don't ever have the urge, because I do! I actually think about it a lot, probably because I'm not getting any, but seriously. It's not like I don't have the desire or anything. We've talked about this some and he says he doesn't have the desire and he isn't that thrilled with his body right now. I can understand that, I really can. He never, ever, ever, ever, ever says or does anything that makes me feel pretty, or attractive, or sexy. At all. Ever. Even when we go out on a date or go do something as a family, and I have on a dress and fix my makeup and my hair, etc, he doesn't even tell me I look nice. Doesn't make one single comment on my appearance. I've mentioned this to him a few times at this point, but nothing ever changes. I'm at the heaviest weight I've ever been, and I certainly don't FEEL that way, but I would still like to be told. I still want to hear it...I need to hear it. He certainly isn't as thin as he used to be either, but I still think he is very attractive and sexy and tell him this daily...and I mean it, too. He isn't mean to me or anything...but I just feel very resistible. And I don't understand why he doesn't make an effort...ANY kind of effort. I feel like I'm sinking into a depression again. I don't feel like I have any control of my eating. I just feel so...flat. So I'm just kind of spending the day alone in my room. I just don't want to see anyone or spread my blahness around. I did go to the gym this morning and he went with me. I'd like to go after work like I used to. I just wish I could/would keep my promise to myself to go.
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  • MAGA99
    I know what its like when u feel like it is an obligation instead of a wonderful experience
    we went 4 over a yr w barely touching & 4get kissing that wasn't gonna happen @ all
    4 us we got lucky & something changed & 4 a while it was like falling in love all over again unfortunately it didnt last long cause of my health issues but every so often we find our way back 2 each other w simple things like watching a movie that we both enjoy or giving each other foot massages & I hate touching feel

    I pray things get better 4 u - my suggestion is 2 try 2 focus on the positive in ur life
    1673 days ago
    I know when my husband and I hit our mid 40's the libido definitely decreased. I think between that and just being married for 20 years things are bound to change in the bedroom. Everyone gets caught up in life and sometimes it seems like we are tired all the time.

    My husband seems like many men, they don't compliment a lot. He's one that says that I should know he loves me. I do get a card twice a year that tells me, but I don't hear it much verbally. That's just the way he is.

    Are you able to have a heart-to-heart conversation about it? If your husband isn't feeling good about himself maybe you two can figure out an exercise and nutrition plan that you could do together. Supporting each other on a new journey may make you feel closer to each other.

    Hang in there and good luck. emoticon
    1673 days ago
    emoticon emoticon I'll send you a message.
    1673 days ago
    I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Hubby and I are the exact same way. I feel better by working out and looking good for me.
    1673 days ago
  • LARISSA238
    *hugs* going to the gym is a good way to combat depression. I'm sorry that your hubby doesn't compliment you... I know how important that is, especially when there is lack of sex involved. My hubby is disabled, so we don't have sex because it hurts him. But he still tells me I'm pretty and all that. *hugs* You can get through this... it's going to take some time to get used to it, but you can do this! Don't let it get you down!
    1673 days ago
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