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Trying to stay positive about my body through my pregnancy.

Friday, September 20, 2013

So, here I am, nearing 5 months of my pregnancy. I'm filled with every emotion you can imagine. Having this baby is what I strived for back when I first started SP. I wanted to lose weight and get healthy so that this could even be a possibility for me. I'm 40 years old, post kidney transplant, and this is my second son. My oldest is 8 now. I'm nervous about starting the baby phase all over again. It's been a long time since I've changed a diaper and was up at night. I also worry about my oldest son, Jamison. He is excited to be a big brother, but I know there is a transition ahead of him. There is one ahead for all of us. But, I know how much I already love this little guy inside of me, and I know we will all be able to get through everything I am worrying about, it will just take time. But, for now, what is probably hardest for me is my inevitable weight gain. I've gained 9lbs so far. A little more than I was hoping for at this stage of the game, but still not terrible according to my doctors. I can't help but obsess that I am only 1/2 way through the pregnancy and I know there is likely another 15-20lbs that will be coming. I didn't realize how much trouble I'd have with this until the scale started going in the opposite direction. For the last year and a half, I've had successes (and failures) here on SP, but I kept seeing that scale going down. And now it's going back up. This is the first considerable weight gain I've had since starting SP back in Jan 2012. And yes, if you are reading this, you are probably saying... "But YOU ARE PREGNANT!"... Believe me, my head knows that, but that doesn't take my sinking feeling away when I step on that scale. I know this is a head game I am playing with myself, and I know my hormones aren't helping me right now either. I've chosen to stay on SP instead of switching to BabyFit right now, only because this is where my history is. This is where my friends are. I've adjusted my nutrition level on my food tracking page to mirror what I should be having according to my doctors. I've also joined a few Fit Pregnancy teams and I'm hoping that if anyone has gone through anything similar to this, they might share their story with me to see how they are coping with it. I know I've turned to the wrong foods in the past couple of months. No doubt my old comfort zone when I am depressed. But, I know doing that isn't good for me or my baby. I know I'm struggling right now, and I've been telling myself at least I am aware of what I am doing. So, here's me trying to wrestle emotions vs reason. Hmmm, I'm sure every pregnant lady's daily battle!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Congrats on the baby and you are an amazing and strong woman to be doing this. I pray that this is a smooth pregnancy and that it goes wonderful for you. Do not fret your body, remember the beautiful baby growing inside of you!
    1701 days ago
    I had a really hard time with it until around the 6th month and somehow, I just had a brain switch. I can't explain it. I stopped thinking about the scale going up--I still keep an eye on it and write it down--but actually started to enjoy that I don't worry about bloating, that I love my belly (other than not being able to see my whole body or bend at the waist, etc), and I know that a lot of that weight I see on the scale will go quickly with the birth (baby, placenta, fluid retention) and the rest...well, I've lost weight before. This is a much better cause than before, when I just didn't control what I ate.

    I hope that you will also be able to come to be content. Just keep telling yourself the same things that you already are and eventually, you might believe them :)
    1702 days ago
    What a blessing you have coming - a new baby!

    Try to remember that each pound, each inch, is going to make your baby THAT MUCH HEALTHIER. You know how to get rid of it after the baby is born. It will be ok. Breathe.

    Congrats. Try to get out of your head and focus on the joy coming your way!

    1705 days ago
    Laura, I am SOOOO proud of you! My advice is give the scale to Chad and not look at it until you have your newest pride of joy in your hands! Focus on eating healthy and staying active! And remember you didn't gain FAT but a CHILD. That weight is a CHILD inside you growing. What a wonderful thing!

    If you are worried you wont lose the weight again... don't. I know easier said than done. But the truth is YOU can kick the weight again and you WILL. Do you know why? Because it is about living a healthy lifestyle with your family!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1706 days ago
    Oh man, I am going through the exact same thing! In fact, our due dates might be similar. Mine is Valentine's Day so I'm at 19 weeks right now.

    I've lost 60 pounds in the past few years. Now I'm pregnant for the first time and I've gained 18 pounds already! I'm trying to slow down the weight gain by tracking my food rigorously and getting plenty of exercise. But it sucks to not be able to wear my own clothes and I just feel like a big slug.

    So I don't really have any words of wisdom for you. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I am also struggling with watching the scale tick back up to my NEVER AGAIN numbers and knowing I will probably give birth at 200 pounds.
    1706 days ago
  • EG8383
    congrats on baby number two. Honestly you don't have to gain all this weight that people talk about. I just had my first child Jan. of this year. As you can see I was already over weight. I totally was suppose to loose lots of weighe before getting pregnant but God had a different plan. lol I gain THIRTEEN lbs! I had a healthy 6 lb 11 oz baby boy! I did have gestational diabetes while pregnant and honestly thats what kept me in check. I had every 2 - 3 hours. I watched what I ate and my portion. I had to because I had to check my glucose FOUR times a day. It sucked but I knew I had to do it for my son. It was difficult. I cried gaining the 13 lbs, because I looked fat instead of pregnant, because I broke out, because my hips hurt, because nothing fit but I got over it. I started to feel the kicking and movement, I started to feel beautiful and pregnant, I accepted that I was nurturing a lil baby and I had the power to protect him and help him grow. You're beautiful. This is a blessing. Buy clothes that are cute and fit pregnant women. Let your hubby give you back, shoulder, and foot massages! Have your 8 year old son help your hubby build the baby nursery. If I could go back in time I'd enjoy my pregnancy more and not worry about the looks and what people say or think. Next time I get pregnant I'm going to try my best to do this. Best of luck!!!!!
    1706 days ago
    emoticon I hope you will have peace of mind soon. I hope your pregnancy goes well and that you give birth to a healthy baby.
    1706 days ago
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