From summer to Fall
Saturday, September 14, 2013
I am struggling with anxiety, good intentions, and inconsistency.
How do I feel about this? Look at the pictures surrounding my blog...
anger, shame, not so good about me, tired, tired of, numb. Sometimes I want to crawl into a corner and disappear. I wonder if I will ever move from flight to fight for myself.
Mindless eating and spending (purchasing) several projects started managing my hoarding; apparently I want to change, but not enough to follow through with those changes. Low motivation.
My weight went up to 224 from 204 in a short period of time. I don't have enough to pay all my bills and my credit card is maxed out. And I tend to be disgusted with myself, promoting a continuing low self-esteem tape. Inaction.
Now I have to choose a doable goal and plan within the range of what I am actually willing to follow through. No copping out. No numbing out.
What will make me smile when I, not anyone else, look in the mirror?