LOVINGAFRICA
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Sometimes I just need a Wife

Friday, September 13, 2013

Sometimes when I am tired or stressed or feeling taken for granted I fantasize about getting a wife of my own.
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I want someone who will do all the little things for me that I do for my husband. Here is the list: Get up first to make him two cups of café late and bring it to him in bed. Then wake the kids to join us on our bed for cuddles and games. (The current favourite is that the bed is a boat in shark invested waters. Everything dangling over the edge gets bitten off. Everybody gets an invisible spear gun...You get the picture.)
Then I go to get the kids their hot chocolate.
I herd them to the kitchen for breakfast, I get DH a towel and turn the shower on for him.
I look for everything he can't find.
(Guys suck at looking for things, unless it moves they won't see it. We got the berry picking- good at gathering- detail noticing genes. They got the movement noticing distance estimating ones)
I want someone to bring me countless cups of tea and make my favourite meals. Who fixes something delicious when my friends drop in unannounced. Who packs my suitcase and does my shopping. Who tells me when an outfit doesn't 'work'. Who packs a flask of coffee and snacks when I travel.
Someone who rubs my feet and shoulders when I am stressed. Who keeps me in bed by force and nurses me when I am sick. Who forces me to go to doctor's appointments. And won't allow me to go to the gym when I am under the weather.
What I would like is the 'wife' version of the Italian granny in the cupboard who makes the most wonderful meals and then disappears back into the cupboard again saying 'the glory is yours!' Like in the old FATTIS AND MONIS spaghetti ad.

I am going to ask my DH what his fantasy is. Maybe it is for a husband who will take the responsibility of keeping 4 females of various ages safe in a very unsafe country off his shoulders. Who wakes up when the dogs bark or at the sound of a gunshot and goes out to investigate. A husband who goes to work every day and provides for us. Someone who sees to it that he could always just get into his car and go, without even thinking about tyre pressure or oil levels or when the next service is due. Someone who takes the fire extinguishers to be refilled every year. Someone who can sum up a complex situation in a couple of words and would immediately DO the logical thing that solves the problem. Someone who makes the tricky decisions. Someone else to 'stop the buck there' instead of it always stopping 'here' with him.

Sparkies, I have to tell you, I would HATE to be my husband's husband. I would absolutely SUCK at it. It would not be natural at all for me to even be motivated enough to stumble around in the dark looking for intruders and not giving up until they are either caught or tracked until they are off the property. I would hate looking for and shooting the stray hunting dogs that sometimes chase our game into the barbed wire fences.

I would not find a motherly husband very sexy, I suppose. And he shouldn't try to be my wife either. (Heaven help us!)

So today I am going to be my own wife. I am making all my favourite meals. I am making myself endless cups of coffee. I am drawing a bath for myself with salt and rosemary leaves in it.
I am good at being my husband's wife, and he is good at being my husband.

For the rest there are mothers and sisters and girlfriends and of course spa days.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KAYRAY1
    Great blog!! Congrats on your journey. emoticon
    2322 days ago
  • TEREMC
    Wow, that is a terrific blog! Hope you enjoyed your day taking care of you! emoticon
    2322 days ago
  • DSCROW
    Oh ya, that sounds nice. We who care for others sometimes need to take time out to care for ourselves. My massage and nails are the two things I have done for me. They give me a true time out from others care. Every now and then I become my massage therapist, or manicurist counselor and they bring me there problem but mainly they are the two people in life that make it all about me. Thank you very much. Both great ladies who I hope to know for a very long time :)

    Taking time for yourself is self preserving so you have something left, happier, or stronger to give to others. Self preserving is not selfishness, just the opposite. If you don't oil and gas that car is breaks so do we. Enjoy your me time free of guilt. The to do list in life is long and full of the loving care you give others.
    2322 days ago
  • LIVING-BETTER
    He!he!
    Nicely said and mostly nicely done!
    Hope you enjoyed your nice bath.
    This summer i was chatting with a friend of mine walking by the sea. She was for a few days with her baby boy, husband working.After a difficult not succesful pregnancy she had to visit a shrink. While complaining about her husband for those little things that being repetitive everyday finish unbearable ,the shrink told her:"who do you think you have been married to? eh? your best girlfriend?Well as far as you ve told me you are married to a man , dear ,so all those are to be expected"
    hugs
    k.
    2325 days ago
  • INGMARIE
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    2326 days ago
  • SANDSLIB
    O wow! You have a way with words....wouldn't we all want that wife that we are? Good on you girl...some 'me' time is important too.
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    2326 days ago
  • WJO1212
    I could not have said it better.
    2327 days ago
  • FLPALM
    I read and reread your BLOG, and Loved every minute of it! When you started out "explaining your day" I thought, "Yeah, kinda like mine!" And then, I continued reading, smiling more and more.

    Your love of family, your love for your husband; for all his "manly HUSBANDLY duties" doing all the things that protect us, care for us, etc. Yeah, we all need those "Wives/Husbands/Grannies" to help out some times, but the bottom line....we wouldn't trade it in (our lives) for anything!

    Hugs, my SPFriend, you made me smile, giggle a little, and made me reflect on the things my Hubby and I do for each other....YUP, we need a SPA DAY, a relaxing day, a girlie day, but I'll take "home.....any day!"
    2328 days ago
  • CELEST
    I loved your blog....I am one who gets shoulder squeezes, but that's about it. lol. But I do admit that I would not be able to crack it in a mans world of working to support a family. I'm a helpmate and that's the best place for me. By the way, I just love the relationship you are building with your kids. They are going to grow up to be your friends when they are older. Well done on getting it right.
    2328 days ago
  • PATTYR81
    I woke up tired today from a loooonnnng and hectic and stressful week.

    Sipping my HOT skinny mocha and trying to clear my brain cobwebs, your post immediately caught my eye! emoticon cuz I was thinking the EXACT same thing!!! emoticon emoticon

    I soooooo enjoyed starting my day with you and THANKS for the laugh!

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    2328 days ago
  • SNOW_LEOPARD_74
    What a lucky family you have to be spoiled by you! You deserve the same!
    2328 days ago
  • MAIZEY
    Love your post so true in so many ways! The joke in our house is that a uterus is an ultra sensitive locating device. Enjoy your day of pampering. A wise coach once advised me to treat myself as gently as I would treat a precious friend. Sounds like your hubby is your precious friend and you deserve some of the TLC too!
    2328 days ago
  • SMILINGEYES2
    What a fresh/great analysis to gender roles in a family. Sounds like you are terrific, not only as a wife to your husband but also as a mom to your children. Also, you do know how to pamper yourself. Spa days are a treat. You do need to take care of your health or you can not do these other roles. Agree, the males are welcome to their roles.
    2328 days ago
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