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Full of Thoughts but Feeling Empty

Friday, September 13, 2013

Since Saturday's blow when my husband told me he wanted to separate, I have been so down.

Today was the first day I was able to eat more than 800 calories or so -- the heartache was so unbearable I couldn't eat. Everything tastes of straw. Of course consequently my energy level is down in the dumps, and I am just numb.

I am trying to process in my head that he's leaving, that he's actively looking for someone new, how and when to tell the kids, wanting to tell my sister-in-law whom I love before my husband tells her and her family but being scared whether that is the right thing to do, trying to wrap my head around splitting our assets while at the same time not wanting to halt the process we've been working on for months now to buy an investment property that would be up for development in 5-10 years which we when it gets sold use the proceeds for kids education, but realizing things could get ugly if we proceed with the purchase and things go south and the as yet unchosen other woman then gets partial rights to as well after some time....hypothetical stuff as yet, but mind-blowing at a time like this to think about. He would live there -- so he would move out when it's purchased, which nothing is as of yet. So we don't know when or where to he is moving......doesn't want to waste money on rent -- that's not our style...so haven't told our kids yet either.

OMG so much to think about.

And I have to take therapy to help build my confidence in myself because it's near 0 right now, and I need to start building a vision, a goal for myself, of what i want to do (for work other than what I'm doing now -- and hopefully build a small business for myself--- the question is only: WHAT.

All of that and trying to come to terms with and start healing my emotions.

Thank goodness for sleeping pills. And thank goodness that I began taking antidepressants 3 days before he told me he wanted to leave.

So, yes, I may be full of thoughts, but actually am quite empty what concerns strength.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • 46SHADOW
    1741 days ago
  • BECKY0111
    I agree with Ottawabound. Get someone to represent your interests. You don't need to fight this battle alone, and you are entitled to your fair share.
    I have a bad feeling about investing with someone who obviously has his best interests at heart. Your phrasing "as yet unchosen other woman" is heartrending. They can pay their own rent!
    If you miss your sister-in-law, go ahead and confide in her. Just be careful not to badmouth her brother.
    Don't forget to take care of yourself! Try to get at least 1,000 calories today. People depend on you. You have to stay strong for your children.

    emoticon emoticon

    1743 days ago
    emoticon It's like getting a blow to the side of the head...makes it tough to think of anything but the pain.

    Do spend some money on a lawyer or financial counsellor who specializes in divorce finances. It can make a big difference for your financial health down the line. As you say, a third party with financial claims could easily make things very tricky. I know you say that you don't want to waste money on rent, but perhaps he could waste the money for a period of six months while you put the legal agreements in place.

    Look at it this way...he's had time to think about and make his decision, he's alreayd putting himself first, so it's probable that he is putting his financial health first and well ahead of yours, no matter what words he may be saying. You, on the other hand, have had this come out of the blue. So he's been planning and you are in shocked reaction. Which puts you at a big disadvantage. Do what you can to level the field and protect your future self and your kids' future.

    I'm sending you some strength for the day.

    1744 days ago
    So sorry for you. emoticon

    Stay strong! emoticon
    1744 days ago
    Poor you. Stay strong, My thoughts are with you x
    1744 days ago
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