Migraines Really Suck!
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
I am feeling quite bummed today! I saw a new neurologist in June about my migraines and he said he wanted me to stop the medication that I had been taking for a year and a half because it was dangerous. Well, I had already committed to watching 3 children for the summer and then working for a friend for 2 weeks while she went to Germany, so I continued taking my medicine to get through the summer. I emailed my new doctor today and got a response saying that I MUST stop this medicine no matter how miserable it makes me because it is DANGEROUS (emphasis his).
I am so bummed, I keep crying when ever I think about giving up the life that I was just getting back and going back to spending everyday in bed in excruciating pain and unable to function. I know I will not be able to exercise at all and when I am in that kind of pain I don't feel like shopping or cooking so I know I will resort to what ever is easy to grab when I do feel like eating.
I am trying to not totally flip out until I find out when I can get another appointment and see what if any alternatives they offer me. But, I am already considering going back to my old doctor and paying out of pocket which will be extremely expensive since we changed insurance and they will not pay for me to see my old doctor.
I am so afraid that the 60 pounds that I have lost this year will be extremely compromised if I wind up nonfunctional again. I wish that I could say that I will be able to turn to the friends that I have made here on Sparkpeople, but I know that if I wind up as sick as I was before I was put on this medicine that I will not feel like living much less getting on the computer everyday.
I know there are other people on Sparkpeople that deal with chronic pain so they may be able to understand when I say that I don't want to go back to praying to die rather than having to deal with the pain. The only thing that makes me soldier on is my 5 year old grandson, but when I am constantly sick, in pain, and unable to interact with him it doesn't even seem to matter whether I am here or not.