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Today was the WORSE DAY EVER

Monday, September 09, 2013

My day started with me looking for my grandmother's wedding rings. When she died 2 yrs ago my mom gave me her rings for safe keeping. I put them in my safe, and they were there a month ago when I opened my safe to get something out. I was supposed to take them today to have them appraised for my mom, and they weren't there! Their gone!! Now I didn't think anyone knew where the key was to my safe, but obviously someone found it!! While looking for the rings, I noticed a pair of my earrings are missing, no big deal they weren't cheap but definitely not a fortune either, but then I also noticed my diamond solitaire necklace my ex gave me when we were dating is gone. Again, not a huge fortune, more sentimental and something I was saving for my grand daughter. My grandmother's rings kill me tho, VERY sentimental!!
On my day goes, to going over to my mom's, she had a 2 pm doctor appt I had to take her to. AND I had to tell her about the rings. Now my mom is a very stubborn woman, lives alone even tho I really feel she should move in with me. She is 71 1/2 yrs old, disabled, cannot stand for long periods, cannot walk very far even with a walker, and uses a wheelchair most of the time, and the last time she was able to stand on a scale, she was about 345lbs. My youngest son was with me, I picked him up early at school to help me. Mama got in her wheelchair and I took her out on the porch and was going down off the porch when she told my son to lock the door and before I could say "WAIT!!" He had locked and shut it. with MY KEYS still in the house!! Now, I have an extra car key in my purse so we could still go to the Dr, but could not get back in the house when we came back. So then I start calling my dtr and my oldest son, they both have house keys for mama's house too. Couldn't reach either of them. My dtr finally called me back and she was taking my grandson to cub scouts and was already too far out to turn around and meet me somewhere. My son called me back and he was having car trouble, his car dies every time he puts it in gear to drive it, so he couldn't bring me the keys, I would have to go get them, which meant a 45 min drive all the way back out past where I live. ( I live North of Asheville in Leicester, my mom lives East of Asheville in Swannanoa, 45 min apart) But, at least I will have keys and can get her back in the house. In the mean time I am trying to convince my mom to let me ask the doctor to order some home physical therapy for her because she really has become ALOT weaker!! And she adamantly refuses!! Now this is AFTER her letting it slip that in the last several months she has had to call the local fire dept to come to her home and help her up out of the floor because her legs have given way and she couldn't get up on her own, and hadn't told me anything about it!! She just doesn't realize how much I worry about her, and her being the distance she is I just cannot run over there every single day. And last year I had to really get mean with her to get her to go to the hospital when she was so swollen her skin was weeping fluid all over. Between me, my oldest son and my dtr we do get out there 2-3 times a week and clean, do laundry, cook meals ahead, change linens etc etc.
Anyway, on in to the appt we go, it's a bit rough getting her out of the car and into the w/c, as her legs are weak, but we get it done. We see the Dr, get meds refilled, get labwork drawn, and out we go and while she and my youngest son wait for me, I go pull the car around for her to get in. We get the wheelchair up close to the car as usual, she stands, holding the door turns around, VERY slowly now cause she has trouble picking one foot up, ( weakness and arthritis), once turned she doesn't back up until she feels the car at the back of her legs and she isn't close enough to sit on the seat. I warn her and so she goes to try and back her tush up more and her legs start to give with her. She's not close enough to sit on the seat, can't turn around and sit back in the wheelchair!! So down she goes and she is sitting on the edge of the floorboard of my car hanging on to the side of the car and the door for dear life!! I can't get her up, even with my son's help, we cannot get her up, she cannot stand! So my son goes into the office and a PA and another gentleman come out, and they try and try, cannot get her up on the seat and cannot get her stood up to get her back in the wheelchair. She ends up sitting ON the GROUND by my car with a leg bent up under her, which I like to have never got straightened out! So now she's on the pavement and no way can we get her up, so we call 911, and the fire dept comes. But she had to sit there at least 15 minutes before they got there. When the fire dept gets there, it takes 5 men to get her up off the ground and back into her wheelchair. In the mean time I am feeling so bad for her, not only is she weak and on the ground, but people are walking in and out of the Dr office and looking at her. Only 2 of these numerous people stopped and asked if they could help! Nothing anyone could do of course, but at least they ASKED / OFFERED. And I feel bad for me too, I'm thinking OMG what am I going to do, she refuses to move in with me, refuses help that she really needs, and there is NO WAY I will be trying to take her to the Dr again. I have got to check in to Mountain Mobility and see what I have to do to get her qualified for them to transport her in a wheelchair van when she needs to go to the Dr. Once she rests for a short time, these 5 wonderful firemen, and yes it took ALL 5 of them, got my mom into my car and buckled up.
I then proceded to drive 40 minutes to my son's house to get his set of house keys for her house, and then drive all the way back to her house. I was going to call the Swannanoa fire dept to help me get her out of the car, but she said she felt like she could do it, and thank GOD she did, and my son and I got her up onto the porch and into the house. I made sure she was in her bed resting etc before I left. I left my home today at noon to pick my son up at school at 1245 and get my mom to the Dr by 2 pm, I got home tonight at 7:30 pm!!
My mom is healthy except for hypothyroidism and being obese. Her arthritis etc is exacerbated by her weight. I personally can never remember my mom being slim. I have seen pics of her when she was slim as a teen and young adult, when I was a baby up to 3-4 yrs old. I only remember one time in my mom's life that she exercised and that was when I was a teen and she went to a gym for a short period of time and lost about 40 lbs. I've seen her do stuff like leg lifts, touching her toes etc, but never walking or any type of cardio ever. she has never really been a healthy eater. Although she likes healthy foods, fresh veggies etc, she has always eaten a lot of fatty foods, a lot of salt, fast food, hot dogs, burgers, gravies, lots of starchy foods, etc etc... And this is what I grew up on. Even though I had nutrition classes in nursing school etc, I never REALLY learned how to eat healthy until in the last 3-4 yrs. And I am still learning. I LOVE my mother with all my heart, and I would do anything for her. Other then my kids she is all I have, both my dad and brother have passed away. And I am not trying to be mean at all, but I DO NOT WANT TO BE LIKE MY MOTHER!! And this, more then anything is what has made me start to learn about eating healthy more then ever in the last year and trying hard to change me! I want to be able to walk and move and be active when I'm older. And I do NOT want my kids to worry about me the way I worry about my mom!! I stood on the other side of my car while the firemen were trying to get my mom off the ground and cried. I truly feel totally helpless at times.

Sorry ALL, I just had to vent is all, or I would go crazy!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You did have, by any standards, a classic bad day. How awful. I hope tomorrow is better for you, and for your mother. I am sixty three and starting to realize the problem of obesity in your senior years. It is so important to exercise and eat right, otherwise you become so weak it is hard to do anything. I am sure it is very hard for your mom also. Hugs, Cathy emoticon emoticon
    1685 days ago
    Would the dr not order her to go into a nursing home or long term care if she was this unable to get off the floor/ground. Ithink it needs to be brought to dr attention. I worked in long term care for years and am now off cos of bad back and knees. I wish I was able to take care of my seniors still but no way. Dad lives in our basement but so far is pretty able, still can walk up the hill and drive but not good on stairs. He willb e 88 nov.23rd
    HUGs and so sorry you had sucha rotten day.
    1685 days ago
    Hugs and more hugs and more hugs! what an ordeal. I don't even know what to say - just hoping that today was a little better.
    1685 days ago
    Oh sweetie! What a horrible day! It is sad and frustrating that your mom has to carry so much weight. Bless you and your kids for the help they give her. Big hugs, Laurel emoticon
    1685 days ago
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