Life hurts sometimes :-(

Monday, September 09, 2013

Dealing with life can be annyoing.. Three streesors.....biggie------- Dealing with ma( role caretaking as caring daughter or roles daughter become a parent parent become a child?????? have been switched.???????????

. Give suggestions to ma when SHE doesnt want to walk even on a beautiful day..... Or engrey drains i call thm she has troble sleeping a night. One of her habits is she worries a lot or get frusted trying to explains things to me. ( sometimes i let it go when she's in cretain mood. Or gets depressed and doesnt do anything about it. ( she's a nurse no offense to those who are nurses, just expliaing how it is with me. emoticon

In the maintime my aunt who has blood cancer ( beginning stages) has to go to blod doc toroow to see why her numbers has changed, keep in eye on it... ( stay tuned more details soon) AND

really hadnt had a break taking care of them... emoticon

No wounder i have imsominia and panic attacks and apporaching 40 something with changing syeptoms hot flashes etc .
Setting goals to take care of myself in the maintime has been tricky fallen in the wayside not enought meditation , creativity time and sparkpeople HELPS me to KEEP foucous and fun too.

Any suggestions and few goodies would go a long way..... emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am a caregiver as well. It can be very frustrating. Hugs to you. emoticon emoticon
    2031 days ago
    Care taking brings out the best and the worst in both the care giver and the one receiving care. (Been there, done that!) Are there any options for giving you a break from time to time (and also your Mom and aunt from you0? Home health care? Respite care? Family or friends?

    Making time for yourself at this point is so important and can be so hard to achieve. As hard as it may be to do, it's important for your well being to have some you time. Not intended in a mean way, but sometimes the care receivers also need a break from us the care givers.

    Remember to advocate for yourself as well as for them.

    Wishing you all the best as you continue in this difficult role.
    2046 days ago
    Dolly, now more than ever, you MUST give yourself, Dolly Time.

    Those panic attacks with the hot flash changes and lack of sleep is a triple whammy all by itself without the added stress of taking care of your mom and now the news of your aunt's health...

    you are WIDE OPEN (vulnerable) for some terrible repercussions that you don't intend to have to face, but the consequences (sooner than later) at some point in time, for neglecting Dolly, are gonna be an unwelcome thing!!

    If you lose all of your energy and zest and happiness that you NEED it will make you more of a target for sickness too. You can't get sick when you're trying to be STRONG for everybody so you've got to have Dolly Time, and the only way to GET some is to make a schedule.

    A plan of each day and how you can control things will be your *B*E*S*T* friend. Then you can make sure that there's TIME blocked out for YOU. emoticon
    2049 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/11/2013 1:29:49 AM
    Being the caretaker is a tough role and only you can make it easier. Speaking from experience, my mother lived 3 years with stage 4 Ovarian Cancer and what a trooper. She had frustrations and I too as we lived the journey. Share - with her, your friends, and your self with dignity. There will be awesome moments as well to come. Days before mom passed, my sister and I on each side of her in her bed, shared her favorite coffee and with old fashion Kilwins ice cream together. Her smile was all we needed, as she sipped her last coffee. It was a great moment.

    Take time for you! Sometimes you will need a break and a sub. It is not selfish, but a requirement. I used a mantra - this too shall pass. I loved music too and remember to dance too, even in the rain.

    I found out I needed an emergency hysterectomy in the middle of our journey and my mom showed enormous and amazing strength while I had to recover. I think it was because she wanted to be sure I would be okay. And you know... I realize I am! Thanks for letting me share.
    2050 days ago
    I'm sorry to hear about how things are changing for you. Change stinks. Do you have any type of hobbies you can use? I knit and this is a life saver. Not only do I get something out of it but it keeps my hands and mind busy. Sometimes I will knit something and then just give it away to a total stranger. It makes me feel better and it brightens their day. Good luck.
    2050 days ago
    When my mother came to live with our family it was a tough adjustment. We were still working full time and had to take her to adult daycare. Some of those programs can be reasonably priced and they have the seniors do crafts and activities that keep them occupied. It also will give you a little break so you can do your own thing.

    My heart is with you Kat...you are such a wonderful person and you are trying so hard to be a good daughter and niece. It's rough to be the strong one!

    Please know that we are ALL sending you our love and white light and strength to bolster you during this difficult time. Also know that you are NEVER alone in all of this...reach out to some of your state agencies and see if they have any services that can help you, your mother, and your aunt. If you can get to the right person you WILL find someone that cares.

    I LOVE the idea of music too...remember music comes from a higher level and it is extremely calming to we humans. Our son Josh LOVED his music and I know it helped him through some very stressful periods. They say that Mozart, Bach, and some of the other great masters is the best for stress reduction and healing.

    Just google them and find out which ones work best! We all love you Kat, you'll get through this with our help! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2050 days ago
    the suggestion about music will definitely help - but not just for you but for you and your mother. ask her what kind of music she likes (on a good day, if possible) and when it's not a good day, listen to that music together. when I took care of my FIL (dementia, rheumatoid arthritis) on a bad day we would listen to german marching band music or german singers and he would sing slong and didn't even mind getting a "bath" or having his bedsheets changed. hopefully this will help a little. emoticon
    2050 days ago
    It never rains, then it pours, or something like that! Times like this are the hardest to take care of oneself, but it's so necessary! So even if it's drinking water, a few minutes of meditation each day...take the time to do it. If you haven't done the 21 Day Mantra Meditation with Deva Premal and Miten, there's another one that starts tomorrow. http://www.mentorschannel.com Hang in there!
    2050 days ago
    2050 days ago
    I so understand what you are going through with your mom. One day my mother decided she was afraid of falling and refused to get out of bed. This required round the clock care givers which fortunately she could afford as my sister and I live 5 hours away. Then the stress became finding and keeping good care givers. My mother lived to be 100.

    My heart goes out to you.

    Prayers for you, your aunt and your mother.
    2050 days ago
    It is really hard when the roles began to switch with our loved ones, especially when they took care of us and managed to be competent at something complexed, like being a nurse or doctor or lawyer or something. It is hard to see that competency fade away and them become so dependent on someone else to meet their daily living standards. So, please hang in there! I used memories of when I was little when my Grandmommy frustrated me, I would remember her tending me when I was sick as a child or reading from the Bible to me. And it would lessen the frustration. Time is the only thing I know of that lessens the sadness! I will pray for you! Hugs! emoticon
    2050 days ago
    I'm so sorry you're going through this rough patch - I wondered where you were.
    Bubble baths always relax me. Sending hugs!
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    2050 days ago
    What's hard is that, as adults, your mother can do what she wants but you love her so it is hard. Remember, though, that you can't help anyone if you're not well yourself so you still need to take care of yourself. Does that make sense? Keep concentrating on your goals and help your mom when you can. Go for the walks yourself. emoticon emoticon
    2050 days ago
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    2051 days ago
    emoticon What a difficult position to be in. I am sending good thoughts and prayers for you and your Mom too.
    2051 days ago
    How about music? Music can be therapeutic.
    2051 days ago
  • NKING1982
    I hope things get easier for you
    2051 days ago
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