BECCA315
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9/8 ~ sad and depressed

Sunday, September 08, 2013

Had a lousy evening ~ feeling like I do everything for the MEN in this family, and get nothing in return. We have been going thru' this vicious cycle since the beginning of the year. (It's been a rough year: surgery, partial disability, death, diabetes, etc. And we're not 'friends' like we used to be...) So I feel down in the dumps today, and am worried that I will quickly slide back into former eating habits, lack of exercise, etc. Ed is my best friend and I miss being able to talk to him about what is bothering me. But it seems that every time we talk, we end up arguing, so now I'm just going to keep quiet for a while...
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  • KAT130
    That's too bad, but I'm alone in this struggle too. We have to remember we are doing this for ourselves, and turn to our SP friends for support.
    2680 days ago
  • DETERMINEDDE
    Hang in there!! emoticon
    2688 days ago
  • SUNNYSIDEUPMARY
    Becca - So sorry to read how down you've been feeling. Even with the bit improvement later, I can guess things are still difficult relationship-wise and emotions-wise. Please take care of yourself - get moving, drink water, journal, vent on Spark. We CAN do this!
    2688 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10764669
    Becca, I can relate --- it's very frustrating .... especially when you love those men so much but don't always get back what you need. Ironically, I've been feeling a bit lost lately and I'm blessed to have a daughter to talk to and 'vent' my feelings to. But then - just when I want to throw my hand up in the air - my husband will do or say something that makes me realize how much he loves me .... in his own way -- and why I married him!!!

    Don't turn to food Becca - you'll only be hurting yourself and you deserve the best!! You always have SP friends who care about you - to let those feelings out to!

    Hugs!!!!
    2689 days ago
  • LADYOLIVER
    emoticon You are challenged, but you are not defeated. See this storm as a tool to push you to grow and change from the inside out.

    I know these days are REAL

    http://www.youtube.com/
    watch?v=AVcCgH_FAIM
    2689 days ago
  • FELINEBETTER
    Becca - I'm sending big hugs your way. It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed at the moment, and that always makes us feel trapped. You've already had some great advice here, so I won't offer you any other than above all else --- please take care of my friend BECCA! I know when I get to feeling overwhelmed - it usually has a lot to do with not taking time for myself!

    Know that we (the Spark Community) are here for you. Take care and don't be afraid to reach out. You're already on the right path by just acknowledging aloud how you're feeling.

    Be well. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2689 days ago
  • BECCA315
    Still here ~ and feeling a bit better. Have NOT eaten myself into a coma, which is a big step for me.

    We came back from a really good vacation a few weeks ago, which is one of the reasons this has been so hard. Our time away from home is almost always great, but then it's back to reality. I think we need to find a way to make our everyday life, our reality, more like a paradise.

    Donna: Ed cleaned the stovetop and mowed the lawn, so I know he will think we're OK again. But that won't get to the root of the problem, and I'm tired of skating along the top of my feelings, like that is going to help.

    Yolanda: yes, I did get out and walk... probably one of the reasons I feel a bit better now than I did this morning.

    Becca
    2689 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/8/2013 4:08:17 PM
  • LADYJAJA
    Hang in there, Becca. Sometimes we DO do everything and it can seem we get nothing in return, but think how lost they would be without us! When everything seems to be going wrong, it helps to count your blessings. When you think about what you do have, it can make a big difference. Remember the book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"? They just deal with stress, problems, anxiety, differently than we do. I've found my bliss in the hula hoop (my husband is disabled and much falls on my shoulders). The time I spend having fun learning to hoop frees me, de-stresses me, makes me feel good about myself. Take care of you! emoticon
    2689 days ago
  • YO~YOLANDA
    Just one more thing... emoticon

    FITNESS - Get Your ENDORPHIN's ON EVERYDAY...Somehow...Someway...For Some period of time...Even if it is only 10 minutes of Something...Do it for YOU...It will help to Keep you Feeling GOOD about YOU...and Build your Self-Confidence with Every ACCOMPLISHMENT Made...This is A Biggie...MAKE TIME FOR FITNESS...You can't Go Wrong!!! It'll help with your frustrations...Give you time to think about how you feel and gain perspective of others...

    Good Luck!!! I'm Rootin' for Ya's!
    2689 days ago
  • YO~YOLANDA
    Oooo...Boy do I Know this scenario...May I share a few things I have learned in my Journey...Maybe they will help you too. STAY STRONG...Listen from within.

    1. You Can't Change Anyone...Only the way YOU Respond to Situations. Maybe if you can find something that you can Change in YOURSELF...It will bring you a different outcome. I have been married for 19 years...I know how easy it is to fall into a vicious cycle or pattern of how you come to terms. See if there is something that you do regularly in response to something emotional...Stop that Pattern, and see if a Different Result Transpires...I'm sure it will...and if nothing else...you worked on making YOURSELF a BETTER Person...by working on something that held you back from Making Progress and living Up to your True Potential.

    2. Listen to your Dreams...It may sound crazy...but your subconscious is sending you messages all the time...The things is...More times than not...We don't pay attention to, or listen to, what our Inner-Self...Our Core...Our Center of Character is Trying to say to us. It IS Important...and You should Listen to You. You can try to translate it by yourself...See what you think you mean...What you are trying to say to yourself...and Then Do some research and see what your Dreams were actually saying...See how close you come to interpreting your own Dream...Then see how that fits into your everyday life and respond accordingly...I don't try to interpret every dream everyday...but when things start to get a little bit hectic, overwhelming-or more than I can handle alone...I tend to listen up and hear what my inner me, my intuition, is trying to tell me...It usually points me in the right direction.

    3. Get it Outta Your Head - Whatever is going on inside of you...NEEDS to be released...Somehow...You do need to have a way to vent your frustrations...even if your hunny isn't hearing it...There are days I sit and things come out of my fingers that at the end of the day I was like Huh??? I did not even know I felt that way until I started to write it out and get it all outta my head...Sometimes thing make more sense on paper...and it for sure allows you to say what you wanna say...even if it isn't what you mean...at the risk of hurting someone with your pent up feelings...Then...Sometimes I will take it a step further, if I need to...and just let go of the burden. Burn-it...Flush-it--Wrip-it, Tear-it...Send it a drift...Whatever you have to do to Just Let Go...Some things are just out of your Control and not worth the Worry...But that is not to say that you don't have feelings that needed to be released...Just let it out...and then let it go.

    Listen to me go on...and believe me I could go on some more...I hope that you find some Resolution and you can Move Forward Together With your Hunny...Learning to Adapt Change, and Grow TOGETHER!!!

    Good Luck Hunny Gurl...Know you are not alone.
    2689 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/8/2013 11:20:12 AM
  • LYNCHD05
    Certainly sounds like overload for you Becca. Hang in there.......I know you can handle this without back sliding. These men just don't think like we do. We need to talk, they don't. How do we find the balance. I have been married for 49 years and I am still trying to figure it out!!!
    2689 days ago
  • RASPBERRY56
    Yep - men ....... can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em, as that old saying goes......

    Please, please, do *not* "keep quiet" simply because you cannot communicate with one individual.......you need to get your frustrations out or all manner of unpleasant things may happen (don't ask me how I know this).........

    emoticon

    Do you have any kind of support system (friends or trusted acquaintances, or family members *if they're supportive*) close by? It sounds like an alternate source of support may be of help to you......

    BLUESTARMOM has a good idea - even if you can't do a weekend getaway, any time that you can take to temporarily get away from your situation can be an absolute godsend!

    Know that you're not alone in this and that your fellow Sparkies care!

    emoticon
    2690 days ago
  • BLUESTARMOM
    I'm sorry. Relationships are rough, especially when there is a lot of stress going around. Maybe you could plan a weekend getaway someplace? Someplace away from things where maybe you could have a talk on neutral ground, and then do something fun together?
    I struggle with emotional eating. I think it has a lot to do with feeling inadequate. Hang in there- it will get better.
    2690 days ago
  • TRYINGHARD54
    awwww, I'm sorry your feeling down... I hope things get better soon.. emoticon . do not let food win.. you have the control.. that's one thing we have control of. what goes into our bodies.. emoticon
    2690 days ago

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