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Clothes shopping was so terrifying!

Friday, September 06, 2013

Based on the comments of my friends, family and colleagues, I went shopping this weekend for new clothes. My old stuff was way too big and I had avoided it as long as I possibly could. I have been putting it off because I am poor, or it feels that way. So I have been picking up pieces at the local thrift stores in order to get through the summer.

But this past weekend I had to face the music. Or more precisely, I had to face the changing room. I walked through the first store, not sure of what size I would really be and took an armful of shirts and pants to the changing room. That's where the nerves kicked in. I would try on one pair of pants and it didn't fit, then I'd try another and it would fit. The sizes weren't consistent between articles of clothing. It was so frustrating!

When I was heavier, I knew that shopping would be painful. I was embarrased about my body and my weight but I knew what size I would be at the store. I could go to my favorite stores and just pick up the clothes I wanted. No big deal. It was hard to buy clothes in larger and larger sizes, but I did it.

This past weekend, I realized that parts of my weight-loss journey are going to be painful. And this is one of them. In one pair of pants, I was in a size I haven't worn for ten years, but then the next pants was bigger again. I found myself standing in the changing room hating my body again. Why can't I just fit into the right clothes? The truth is that I just haven't find the right clothes yet. I am in between sizes at the stores. Somewhere at the small end of the Women's section and at the largest end of the Misses. I should have felt good that I could fit into anything in the Misses section, but instead my stomach started to hurt, my eyes started to water and I just really disliked my body at that moment. It was probably harder than trying on clothes in larger sizes.

In the end, I got five new shirts and some new workout pants. I also got a new Packer's sweatshirt which is from the Misses section. Kind of love that! But I was still missing pants that fit. So the next day my mom went through her closet to give me some of the pants that she doesn't wear anymore. The pants don't all fit exactly, but they are better than what I've been wearing all summer. My mom has been smaller than me since college when it comes to weight, and I'm happy that we are about the same size again. My goal is to get smaller, since I know that it only gets harder to lose weight. I'm not waiting until I'm 60.

It did feel good to get compliments on my new clothes when I got to work on Monday. Someone said it looked like I had lost 20 pounds overnight. But last night I wasn't feeling good and today I'm back to clothes that are too big, mostly cuz I just didn't care today. But when I get home tonight, this 3X t-shirt is going into my "donate" box. I promise! I even feel extra lazy because my clothes are just hanging on me.

It seems that the toughest part of losing weight is just starting for me. Learning to love myself and my body is not an easy thing. I have spent more than a decade thinking negative thoughts, disliking my body and mostly just disliking who I had become. Now I'm on my way to being someone new, someone I lost over the years. I just wasn't expecting this many hurdles and challenges at this point in the journey.

If I'm going to lose 100 pounds this year, I have some serious work to be doing. But I will do it! I'll put this shopping experience behind me and continue to focus on my food and my exercise. Just like I've been doing for nine months. Wish me luck!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Just enjoy those new and new-to-you clothes - don't worry about what size they say they are, and don't worry too much about what size you are now - you won't be there long, you're getting smaller!
    1687 days ago
    If all clothiers used the same measurements for sizing life would be far easier. Most of the clothes now have sizing to make us feel good. I wear a size 8 now and a10 in high school but I definitely weigh more now than I did back then. and there certainly were not size 0's then either. emoticon

    1691 days ago
    Dalid is right. I have the same problem with jeans. I'm down a size but if i grab the same size jeans from two different brands, neither of them fit the same. I also read once that there are very few people who can actually wear clothes straight off the rack. And I can only speak for myself but I can't afford to buy clothes then pay more to have them altered. You might be in between sizes too. I hate it when that happens. You're doing great. Don't let this get you down.
    1691 days ago
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    1692 days ago
    I can relate to how you feel. People will start to ask me how much weight have I lost, they can really see it, etc. So I get all amped up and go shopping. To buy clothes in the same size as everything else in my closet. I usually have to spend a few minutes in the dressing room to compose myself and get over my disappointment. Sizes are definitely just a reference or jumping off point these days. And some places I know *cougholdnavycough* are going to be inconsistant from the word go at this point.

    I love that you're putting a positive spin on this and taking a look at the silver lining of this experience! Keep up the great attitude! And enjoy the new and new to you clothes that you did get! I'm jealous! emoticon
    1692 days ago
    Congrats on the weight loss. Enjoy the opportunity to get a whole new wardrobe for a whole new you. I am in the same boat. I need clothes since I lost the weight but I do not have a job right now and money is tight. I have been shopping at the thrift store as well. Keep in mind that all of these clothes have been worn and quite possibly have shrunk. I use the sizes as a guideline not an absolute. If a pair of pants doesn't fit- oh well, off to the next pair. I had to learn how to think like a 133 pound person and not the 211 pound person I was once. I suggest watching repeats of What Not to Wear. This has really helped me change how I view clothes. I can't wait for when I get a job and get to put all of this new found knowledge to use. Good luck.
    1692 days ago
  • DALID414
    The inconsistency in sizes is crazy, I agree. Which is why I cut the tags off EVERYTHING and focus on the fit, not the number.
    1692 days ago
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    1692 days ago
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