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Finally Found My WHY

Friday, September 06, 2013

I've been seriously lacking in motivation for so many things lately. I have most definitely been in a funk and am having trouble shaking it. It seems I do well for a week or so, then fall back into my old habits and have to start all over again the next week or month.

As you know, I've got this side business that I am working and building, which I started in July. The company I'm working with has some of the best training for independent marketing executives that I've ever seen! Talk about motivating and giving us ALL the tools we need to be successful! The thing that's great about this company's compensation plan is that it is so clearly laid out. You can literally set your financial goals (i.e. I need to make an extra $1,000 per month) and you can go to their literature and they will tell you EXACTLY what you need to do to get to that point. The amount of work you are willing to put into your business is directly related to the checks you will receive.

The thing is...money is not always the best motivator. Let's face it - the "promise of riches someday" is not going to be enough to pull you through the really tough months when everything seems to be going wrong and all your hard work and time spent seems to be wasted. In these times, you need to have a deeper "WHY". That is...WHY am I doing this? Outside of the financial gain I could possibly receive someday. There has to be some deeper intrinsic motivation. I believe this is something that one must find in ANY job that they expect to hold for a lifetime.

I know that my longterm WHYs include:

*Paying for all 3 of my kids and my boyfriend's 2 kids' college educations

*Healthy finances, which will help alleviate stress and contribute to a healthy relationship with Mr. T.

*An income of at least $5,000 per month of residual income (meaning, we receive it whether we do any work that month or not) so we can both quit our "day jobs" and work this full-time instead. So we can be home with our kids, even WHILE we earn a living.

*Pay off the $55,000 in student loans that are hanging over my credit score, due to poor decisions made when I was in a financially destitute marriage.

Of course, this applies to exercise and health as well. I mean, there are WHYs for disciplined eating and exercising too. A few of my far away dreams are:

* Hit my goal weight of 145 lbs.

*Half Ironman by the age of 40

*Full Ironman by the age of 50

But, even longterm WHYs are not enough sometimes. Not when you are SERIOUSLY losing motivation! There have to be some short-term WHYs as well. Something that is closer...that is actually reachable.

For my trainer, her short-term WHY is a really nice Ford truck, which she will be able to buy brand new once she hits a certain level in the business and is given a $400 monthly car payment allowance. She has a picture of it on her cell phone and she looks at it anytime she questions herself or the future of her business. It keeps her on track and moving forward, rather than stewing over past mistakes or failures.

For my business, I decided I needed to find something concrete like that. Something I can LOOK at every day and especially on weeks like this where my motivation is near non-existent.

I searched and searched and I finally found my short-term WHY. Surprisingly, it fits both my financial/business goals AND my eating/health goals. I do believe that makes it the perfect WHY.


This BEAUTIFUL wedding dress.

Wait wait wait...hold up. This is NOT an announcement or celebration of any sort! NO NO NO! JUST A DAYDREAM...as in, SOMEDAY!!!! Don't get any crazy ideas. LOL.

But, THIS is the dress I never had the first time around. In terms of my business, I want to be able to afford it easily (it runs about $1,100). My first wedding dress was $199 and I couldn't even afford to have it altered. No settling this time around.

Health wise, I want to be able to fit into this dress in a Size 12 whenever the day comes that I might be blessed to wear it. Obviously, I believe this to be FAR FAR AWAY because I'm definitely not even close to a Size 12 right now! Haha. Whatever it takes to get there, I want to get there...for my health, for my body, for myself. No settling this time around.

Relationship wise, this dress signifies doing it right the second time around. No skimping on the ceremony or the reception or the food. No friends taking photos with a 35 mm camera. No off-the-rack bridesmaid dresses b/c it's all we could afford. It doesn't have to be lush and lavish and prissy, but it does have to be special. It doesn't have to be any more than 40 guests, but they do have to be people that we know and actually care about. No avoiding arguments because we are too exasperated to face our own inadequacies. No withholding physical affection from one another out of anger or pure laziness. No imbalance where one works hard and the other takes advantage. No sloppy unkind words or gestures or looks - only compassion and kindness and striving to work things out. NO SETTLING THIS TIME AROUND.

So, I will look at it every day. And I will take these terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days and I will remember...that my actions today will put me in that dress several hundred tomorrows from now.

What are your long-term and short-term WHYs? In business? In health? In your relationships?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GEORGE815
    What we conceive, and believe, can be achieved!
    1750 days ago
  • LINDAK25
    Great answers, love the dress. I was really unmotivated. I've been maintaining at around 200 pounds, just because. Now the doctor says I'm pre-diabetic. Oh, great. Now I'm motivated because I'm scared. I guess you just have to find what works for you. I like your motivation better.

    One more thing--it's terrific that you know what you want in a relationship and that you're willing to work for it. Good for you!
    1752 days ago
    Hi Leah; emoticon emoticon

    Great goals short & long, beautiful dress. I will be praying for you that you reach all these goals for you personally & monetarily I hope that this Mr. T is deserving of a woman as exceptional as You are my dear friend.

    Take care & be well, You can make these goals happen I believe in you.

    Many Blessings Always Debby emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1752 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    I *LOVE* your short term "Why"!
    1752 days ago
    You have identified some great goals. Have you read "Push" by Chalene Johnson? If not you seriously should get it. It is very helpful with motivation and goal setting in all areas of life... great nutrition and exercise tips also as she is a trainer. You can get a copy used on Amazon for cheap... check it out.

    1752 days ago
    That is a great "why".. But do give yourself a break. You have had a year of so many changes, that it is bound to give you "a funk". Even when it is the right thing to do, divorce leaves a bad taste in your mouth.. At least it did in mine. I felt like I had failed marriage. Not consciously of course, but deep inside somewhere. You have divorced, moved, been separated from your kids for half the time, started a second career, started a new relationship - all of which rate very high on the stress-o-meter! And you are moving again. It all adds up. So do your best to get motivated, but don't kick your own butt when you don't do it all.

    Major hugs to you!
    1752 days ago
  • JLR080500
    This is a great motivation. I am guilty of the same pattern of doing well then falling off. I think I look at the long-term and forget the short-term visual motivators. Thanks!

    1752 days ago
    You've described me to a T. I do well for a few weeks and then fall back into old habits. This was a great reminder and motivator for me. Thank you!
    1752 days ago
    What a BEAUTIFUL dress!! And a wonderful motivator.

    This is an excellent idea and one that I very much need to copy. Maybe I should browse through some wedding dress sites, too!

    God bless.
    1752 days ago
  • KIPPER15
    Thank you for this post. It presents me with an AH HA moment. I need that. emoticon
    1753 days ago
    I agree. You need something that gets to the heart of you for motivation. Otherwise it is too easy to explain away those times when we fall short of our goals.
    1753 days ago
    "When you have a why to live for, you can bear almost any how." - Nietzche
    Good for you for finding your why's. Temporary or not, they will help you bear all the difficult how's.
    Beautiful wedding dress. I really wish you many real pictures of yourself in it one day.
    1753 days ago
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