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The Finish Line

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

January 1st, 2013 I hopelessly created a Spark People account - it felt forced and cliche. It was late; I guessed my measurements and weight, telling myself I'd take care of everything seriously the next day, because I needed to "talk". Getting to the blog portion required establishing everything else first (as you all know) and I wasn't ready to face "everything else".

Here's the opening to that blog:
"It's 9 o'clock on January first. I haven't decided if this is poetic justice or alarmingly cliche yet, so the overwhelmingly cynical approach I take to this might be overbearing for those of you optimistic beginning folks."

January 2nd I stepped on the scale only to find I was 15 pounds off on my guess (in the less desirable direction). I was 28 years old and 25 pounds at 5'4". That discovery usually would deter me from continuing, but for some reason I proceeded with the measurements and recording. Then I faced the truth of trackers and the dreaded BMI. I was in a dark, very unhappy place and the only person could see it was me.

And so the ambitious goal was determined: 75 pounds before September.

This morning - August 28th 2013 - I did it. I am 150 pounds and layers of emotion lighter. My knowledge has improved - calories, nutrition breakdown, exercise - but more importantly my self-worth is developing. I'm learning to take a step back, reflect, and when necessary re-evaluate. And it's because I care about myself - something I couldn't say 7 months ago. So while I'm not finished losing weight, I have reached the finish line I made with originally no intention of reaching and it feels good.

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