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"Skinny Rules"

Monday, August 26, 2013

This was posted in my ETF group this afternoon and I have been thinking of my response...

Bob Harper's "Skinny Rules"

I am proud not to be a non conformist when it comes to the norm when it with fitness and diet. I made my own rule list in response to the "Skinny Rules"

1. Drink water when thirsty. Drink water with my Apple Cider Vinegar and Natural Calm. Not before a meal to squash my appetite. I work hard for my appetite, why wouldn't I want to enjoy the food?
2. I will drink my calories if I want to. I will also eat them.
3. I will eat protein at each meal. Along with CARBS and FAT.
4. I will slash my intake of flours and grains when I am not eating inbetween meals.
5. I will eat 30-50 g of fiber a day, or not.
6. I will eat apples and berries every day... or I may not...
7. No carbs when I sleep.
8. I will watch what I eat... as it goes into my mouth.
9. I will stop guessing about portion size, refer back to #8 and go back for seconds if I am still hungry or push my plate away if I am full.
10. I will add sugar when I want it. Sugar is tasty.
11. Mmmmmm potatoes. White, red, yellow, purple.....
12. Life is too short to go meatless or anything "less"
13. I will get rid of any food rules that tell me to do things.
14. What is a *real* breakfast?
15. I will eat at home whenever I want to eat at home.
16. I will banish no food.
17. I will eat my vegetables. And chocolate.
18. I will never "go hungry"
19. I will sleep laying down.
20. I will plan on living my life healthy, bound by no more food rules.

Okay so maybe a tad bit sarcastic and caustic, I suppose. What is the point of this? To some who read it may seem like I am eating grain laden white potato salt dumped on mounds of sugar meals while downing buckets of fast food and not sleeping. This is not the case. Fact of the matter is this: I am healing. I am healing from spending my entire adult life surrounded by food rules. Eat this, not that. Eat only clean. Don't eat after XX:XX. Exercise to burn off those calories from lunch. I am so beyond this now it feels amazing. I am learning, healing and slowly working to rebuild my life. Not being bound by ANYthing. Life is too short not to occasionally drink some calories or enjoy a white potato or consume my time by constantly label reading and making myself crazy. I have been there. I have done that. All of it. I am a mess because of it. I am a bundle of insecurity that has been so bound by rules and living a life that has been lead by label reading and eating and exercise. I am finding that I CAN live a life that is fueled by foods that I fix for my family in my kitchen with fresh veggies straight from the farmer's market, but with the knowledge that if I decide to consume calories in a cup, it is not going to be the end of the world.

Our society and gurus dictate to us what is "right" and "wrong". I have spent more time and energy than I care to recount figuring out the rules. To hell with the rules. Now don't get me wrong, I do understand that some have to abide by certain dietary rules based off of allergies or medical reasons, I am in the fortunate category to where I don't.

I am to the point that I can simply learn to enjoy life more.

I am in a process of healing. Healing myself from the inside. I spend a great amount of time hating myself. I will admit this fully. I feel disgusst a lot of the time, sad a lot of the time. I feel like there are times I am defined by and ruled by my outward appearance. I feel like a failure because I am still at a certain size 2 years post baby. I feel like I am worthless at times because I can't seem to be in a certain size. It is unnatural and a very unhappy way to live life. Don't get me wrong, I am not this way 100% of the time, but there are many times in my week that it eats at me and the negative talk replaces the good feelings I have been working hard to achieve. But it is there nonetheless. I am not recovering from an ED, I am not suffering metabolic damage due to low cal eating, but I am suffering a broken self image that I desperately want to work to repair. I want to be able to talk to my own self the way I do my children.

I am learning a lot from the ETF group. I am learning that it is possible to live a happy life, to be completely full of awesomeness without being a certain size. I can be happy eating enough food that allows me to achieve amazing strength gains (which I have seen over the last few months), to fuel my life in the PROPER way. I can be proud of being strong and of my curves and not seek out unhealthy means to obtain a fit and healthy body.

I have damaged myself over the years. I hate it. I hate being sad when I look in the mirror. I have been told that I suffer from dysmorphia and that I should be proud of where I am at. I have been constantly reminded that I am actually a very strong person who has suffered years of internal abuse by being told from the outside world that my appearance is everything. Life begins at size 8. It is BS through and through. Total and complete BS. Life begins here and now because I am so tired of it all. I want to be happy and confident. I want to radiate a personality that reflects an inner happiness that can only come from ME.

Again as my mantra goes, it isn't about "strong is the new skinny" it is about "healthy is the new skinny" (thanks to Go Kaleo for that little gem). I can and will get there. It is an uphill battle all the way. I know this and I will work to get there. The way I see it is Bob Harper can take his "skinny rules" and shove them! No more skinny rules here. Happiness rules. Eat for health. Eat the food, lift the weights, enjoy the life. Eff the rules. Life is all about balance, not being bound by constant rules.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Awesome blog, thanks for sharing!
    2206 days ago
    Awesome. Totally cool. I am sending this blog to my Mom. Thanks!
    2206 days ago
    FANTASTIC! I love your new rules!

    2207 days ago
    This. Is. Epic.
    2209 days ago
    Great blog Amber. Love your new way of thinking.
    2209 days ago
    I love your rules! I am still in semi-shock that someone who trains people and deals with vulnerable people like Bon would come out with a book or rules likes this. I hate the idea of skinny. I want fit and healthy. Even when I talk to people, if I use the word skinny I state tat was mistake from years of diet training, and what I meant was healthy. How hard is it that we have to work so hard to have a normal let alone good relationship with our bodies and food? Its crazy.

    Totally agree about happy rules- we need more of them!
    2212 days ago
  • LIBRA73
    I love it!

    I am doing the same thing. I have NO rules. Nothing is off limits. All things in moderation, I say!

    Rules only piss me off!

    I eat right, mostly. I am doing my workouts and working on a better attitude since I am feeling better, repairing the damage done with the headaches and years of thinking I need to be a size 4. Done with it. I am done with the static! Time to listen to ME.

    Awesome blog! Inspiring as usual!
    2212 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I like #7 and #17 particularly.
    2212 days ago
    Great blog, A*L*P. Having experts that give us rules (and to me his are arbitrary really), isn't the way to go. They are just trying to sell books with their pat answers and program. It has to be different enough or no one would buy their books. We are the ones that have to know what is best for us. Bob can have those goofy rules if he wants to. Why would he presume that they are for everybody?

    Definitely agree that well-being, health, wellness comes in different shapes and sizes. Can't we just all appreciate variety, rather than having an ideal that somehow we are all supposed to achieve or beat ourselves into submission to work towards.

    Glad you are reaching a point of feeling good with what you are doing.
    You know yourself and what is right for you. I think that is what it comes down to. Accepting another person's rules just plain doesn't make sense. If we have any rules, it should be ones that we make for ourselves based on what we have experienced as true and right for ourselves.

    2212 days ago
    LOVE your rules!!!!
    2212 days ago
    I agree. I can't and won't live my life following strict "rules" on what to eat. I think, though, that if you look at it from a different perspective, as general guidelines, it is pretty good advice. More home cooking, fewer overly processed and refined packaged foods, less added sugars, more fruits & veggies, etc....this is really just common sense healthy living. Unfortunately many need it spelled out in traditional diet rules format first (not to mention the diet business is big $$$ ).
    2212 days ago
  • no profile photo FLGIRL_4EVER
    I was shocked at the rules he had and that book, I get it was made up for doing it a short period of time, but still. The calorie range is so freaking low! As usual my dear, I love your post/blogs :)
    2212 days ago
    Great blog!

    Finally realizing my "food problem" is actually a "self-image problem." Every time I am upset or depressed or worried or whatever, I eat junk food and/or hide behind my fat. While I've still kept of most of the weight I've lost, I have gained 20-25 back. I want to get away from the scale and just focus on eating what my body tells me it needs and likes. Yes, that does mean banishing most gluten but it is because it gives me pain/inflammation, not because it is "bad."
    2212 days ago
    Yeah.. I think anytime you set yourself up w/ a lot of rules you are headed for trouble. Just learn the right things to eat and how much of them ...then-Do It !!
    2212 days ago
    Not to be a snot, but. . . technically, all plant products are carbs. So no broccoli after lunch? No carrots? No clementines? No grapes? Pshaw, I say!

    2212 days ago
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