Tuesday, August 20, 2013
While in La. I heard a fable that has stuck with me and really it brings me to where I am today. I call it the fable of the naked truth. this is how it goes.
One day truth and lie went down to Lake Pontchartrain, it is a hot day so they go skinny dipping. After some time Truth realizes that Lie has left the water. When Truth gets out of the water Lie has stolen his clothes and is running down the street so Truth takes after him the chase is on. Truth finally catches Lie . The moral here is that a well dressed lie is caught by the naked truth.
How does this apply to my journey? In the past I always tried to loose weight so people would like me. So my husband would think I was prettier so that my children was proud of me. I walked around smiling saying all the most perfect things that made everyone happy. As I lay on that couch suffering I thought of this fable and decided that in order to do this to do what I needed I had to become completely naked on the inside. I had to become honest with me strip myself of the emotional baggage that others held over me.
That is the one thing that no one had ever say to do. I have been to weight loss groups. I have done the programs . I smiled but i never felt different and I never truly dealt with things. It doesnt take therapist to tell you that as an obese person you have been hurt and ridiculed. It doesnt take a therapist to tell you that because of it you are little damaged and for me any way I had to heal that damage before I could have true success in what i wanted. When the world laughed at me I laughed back and then the world was confused. And all the sudden I realized they dont like it when you laugh at yourself so one day I asked why not that answer is easy really because it really isnt funny. And those that laughed finally knew it wasnt funny.
Earlier I read a blog where someone stated that they are good the way they are but they just want to be the best they can be for the ones that love them. What is the best you can be for the one that love you ? Are you not already the best you can be? When you read through the comments on my blogs and if you talk to people who truly know they all will use the same word to describe me that is Honest.
I am not putting my self through what i do for anyone but me. And i want you to know that is alright to do just for you as a matter of fact I cant think of a better reason. The people that love me will still love me att 166 or at 366 that doesnt change. They will still know i am strong at any weight. However what they know now is that I love myself enough to whatever it takes to make me healthier and happier. We each have our own paths to walk. I wasnt happy inside because i had a well dressed lie but when i found the naked truth then I was able to change.