Tuesday, August 20, 2013
I did it again. I really am my own worst enemy.
Monday started off poorly. The alarm went off at 0500 with me having had a very restless night. I ate a healthy breakfast (which in retrospect should have been a bit larger; it was around 150 calories.
Work was fine, but shorter than planned since two patients cancelled. I was home by about 1230 and made a health salad with a few ounces of chicken. I was exhausted and hot (it was very humid and about 95). I ate my salad, and then went to the bag of pita chips that I should never have bought. I devoured half the bag (it was a large bag). Then I ate a mini ice-cream cone.
I dozed on the couch for a bit and didn't do much of anything the rest of the day.
How could I have gone from such a high the morning before? I had weighed myself on Sunday as usual, and I am now 9 pounds lighter! I went out to dinner that night and ate mindfully and even had a drink and still came in within my calorie range! So what changed?
I feel that in the deepest recesses of my mind, I am afraid to reach my goals! It's a pattern I've had throughout my life, and not just weight loss/exercise related endeavors either!
I know one day of bad choices isn't the end, but I've been here on SP for almost 2 months now, and have been using SC almost as long. Shouldn't I have learned something by now?
Enough ranting. I am back on track today. I got up and even though I didn't want to, I went for a walk/jog before it gets too hot. I will strive to eat healthier today and the last of those pita chips are going in the trash as soon as I stop writing this!
I know I can do this, sometimes it's just hard to really believe it!