40,000-49,999 SparkPoints 44,547

positive for everyone except myself...

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

i really don't want to write this blog... but dag-burn-it, here i go anyway! emoticon

i am already doing what i said i wasn't gonna do in my last blog... emoticon i said i wasn't going to stress if the scale didn't say the weight i wanted. now, let's be clear, i didn't need it to say i was down 10 pounds from last week, but i certainly thought it was gonna be FIVE pounds! i have been eating in my ranges, exercising 5 times this past week, and getting 10,000+ steps everyday, which i have never have done in the past.

i stepped on the scale, still saw 180 lbs, stared harder, trying to "will" the scale to move. i guess you could say, i was trying to use my jedi mind skills... "these aren't the pounds you are looking for!" nope, didn't work.

so, then questions start...

why didn't it move? did i not work out enough? did i need to eat fewer calories? could i have done more? emoticon

then of course, i start thinking of all the comments i have left for other people, who were disappointed about the scale not moving...

"hey, don't worry, remember victories are not only on the scale (clothes fitting better, stronger cardiovascular when doing exercise dvds, ect.)

"hey, the scale isn't the end all be all"

"don't get discouraged, this is a new day!"

"you can do this, don't give up!"

tell me, why can i give all the positive comments to other people, and truly believe it, but i can't believe it when i say it to myself, or when others say it to me? why when i have a day like this, all are hear is my negative self talking? i believe others can do it, but i can't. my thoughts are flooding in of being a failure, worthless, i can't do it, why even try (especially since i worked so hard on everything this week), now i am behind in my goals, even further (my goals are realistic). emoticon

i know and believe that EVERYONE else can do it, but not myself... people always tell me how happy and positive i am, and how much i encourage them, help them believe in themselves, but darn it, i can't do the same for myself. what the heck is wrong with me? i am sure, if i was watching a movie about a girl who didn't believe in herself, i would be like, "come on, you can do it, keep trying, don't give up!" but the minute it is me, that all goes away. emoticon

don't worry, i am not giving up, i am gonna work harder this week. i have 6 days off, i am not gonna waste them, feelin' sorry for myself... i just had to write down my thoughts, hopefully get them outta my head, and do what i need to do. now, i am getting off this computer, and do what i need to do. eat right, work out, and 10,000+ steps everyday, keep visualizing myself at my ideal weight. maybe this is just my body hoping i will give up, and start eating all the garbage food i used to, and keep my butt on the couch and do nothing. well, that isn't gonna happen, this is a new lifestyle, i am not gonna quit, i will keep fighting! emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Agree with everyone else... you did a great job of putting your feelings on paper. Wish I had that talent! In the past three years I have lost and regained 40 pounds. We are always harder on ourselves and need to realize that there are other positives to living healthy lives. Don't give up or quit... the regrets that come with that are worse than looking at 10 pounds on the scale. My advise... back away from the scale! emoticon emoticon
    1733 days ago
    Many of us have been in the same boat. It took forever for me to reach that 10 lb. goal and it was discouraging at times. One thing that helped me was to try on clothes that didn't fit too well before I started exercising and eating better. Even though the scale said I wasn't losing weight, my clothes fit much better so that made me feel better. Enjoy the rest of your time off and emoticon . It'll come eventually. emoticon
    1733 days ago
    Perfect use of the blog...get it all out...talk to yourself...and then take a deep breath and know that you are doing all the right things and headed in the right direction!!! You KNOW you are a rock star (we do too!!!).


    1735 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    You can do this! Go back and read your positive statements and look at yourself in the mirror and repeat them back!
    Not losing is hard and very discouraging and I wish it was as easy to lose the weight as it is to gain it but we all know that it isn't and never will be.
    You are getting stronger and your body is changing even if you don't see that scale number change. Keep up the great work and know that the number will drop eventually!
    Keep on pushing! It will happen!
    1735 days ago
    The fact that you even had the courage and strength to write that all down shows you are a strong and confident woman. I feel the way you do all the time but I am still in the just need to get the motivation flowing stage. You can do anything! Just look to the Lord and say I need your help, motivation and guidance in this and like the scripture says I (You) can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! emoticon
    1735 days ago
    We can all generally give the positive comments to someone else or give someone else advice but when we are in the same spot we can't hear ourselves. So don't fret over the fact you can say it to others and not yourself. Maybe that could be one of your goals is to say something positive to yourself when you see the scale not move where you want it to. Also keep in mind muscle weighs more than fat. And I have heard that you will lose at first and then you will start seeing a little gain as your body builds muscle but then you will see the scale start dropping again. Keep pushing forward, you are going in the right direction. emoticon
    1735 days ago
  • SARIC3
    Yes - you should listen to your own advice. Also - are you tracking sodium. It can make the scale do crazy things!
    1735 days ago
    emoticon I find myself in the same boat, being encouraging but not able to stay positive when it comes to my own small losses. I am glad you can recognize you do it and motivate yourself more after the initial reaction! emoticon emoticon
    1735 days ago
    YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! The key is DON'T give up be consistent and stay positive. Even if the scale didn't give you results I am positive some part of your body did with inches. Have you taken measurements? How are you feeling? Better than you would have if you had sat on the couch those days eating not being active? I am sure you do. You have we all hit spots where our body says that is enough I want to keep this weight HA HA I challenge you to do something different these 6 days you are off. A different type of exercise or something different in your eating or something for personal development. I do know I have a weight loss pattern no matter how hard I work in the past I have done weight watchers and I will loss 6 weeks then either gain or no loss. then the cycle begins again it is weird i know but the weight watcher lady pointed it out and it is true!! (: So maybe this is the case for you. Do you have a pattern? Relax it isn't a race (: YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
    1735 days ago
  • ADZY86
    Fantastic blog. I hope getting your feelings down and reading them back, especially the part where you wrote what you would say to others in the same situation, will help you feel a bit more positive about the situation. I totally know how you feel, it's SO annoying. But keep pushing. You know you can do this x
    1735 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by OAKTREE10