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Some unrealistic thinking

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Good Morning; I have been warned that DS will have his ups and downs b/c he is bored, has ptsd and does not have a "job" - he obsesses on things. His latest is a wheel chair. Now I think it is a good idea if he uses it. He wants his dog to pull him when he goes for a walk. His dog is only 6 months old and is not trained for that yet. He has a place in our garage where he smokes and plays games on his TV that he installed.
He also has much in the garage from his apt. So we do not have room for our cars which is fine. But DH does not see him having any room to move in a wheel chair at this point. I am so busy trying to get ready for grand baby coming. DH says he has to realize that baby comes first. DS has regressed and he is not as independent as he used to be. My DH said to me today- maybe GF and baby have to come back so we can have our lives back. it is so hard - we make a plan to do things - like get his medical records, etc... DS gets in these moods and we waste a day. He had all his paperwork in his trunk of his car so it is not organized at all. this needs to get done. My PTSD counselor told me to go with the flow. If he does not want to get something done which he is in charge of - let it go. But after yesterday, he can be very hard to life with b/c he is all over the place emotionally. I did sleep well last year and I am focusing on keeping my program in place for my exercise and eating well. DS has been on the internet buying things. We have to get back to VA but making appts we have to go through DS. He has not given me power of attorney yet. He seems to hold this over our heads so everything is hard to manage. He has always been a person who likes control but he is really a control freak now which is understandable. I am trying, but it is not easy. Have a good day!!!
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  • CONCHA77
    Sounds like very challenging times for you. Glad you aren't forgetting that you must take care of yourself too. Hugs and prayers.
    1702 days ago
    have you thought about just taking a long vacation and not checking in for 4 to 6 weeks, or is that a impossible thought?
    I do know how terrible this is for you, just not sure if responsibility was thrust at DS whether he would take charge. anyway, my thought are with you emoticon
    1703 days ago
    Life is so hard sometimes, for our 'walking wounded' and their families. Lots of love and lots of prayers; lots of patience. I hope things get better for you all.
    I don't know how impaired your DS is, but is it appropriate for an independent living apartment; assisted living apartment? Contact the benefits person at the VA and see what kind of services they offer. A level of independence may make your son feel better about himself and his circumstance.

    1703 days ago
    Wish I had words of advice , but all I can do is offer comfort and let you know you're doing the right things. **SIGH** Went this same type of thing so many times before dealing with addiction issues in my family. NO, PTSD and all your son's issues are not addiction by any means, but the point is -- both addiction and what your DS is going thru require that HE want to do something about it. And about 100% of the time those around the addicted person, or in your case, your son, reach their "bottom" of tolerance long before the person with the problem. It's really difficult.

    You are sooooooo right to take care of yourself. THAT'S the #1 priority. Keep on doing that. HUGS
    1703 days ago
    wow... I pray life gets better for you.
    1703 days ago
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