Ups and Downs
Monday, August 19, 2013
My blog assignment for the weekend challenge is to reflect on how I have weathered the ups and downs in my weight loss journey. I've done a lot of self reflection lately as we are coming to the end of my latest BLC round and yet I am at a weight that is uncomfortably high for me.
I'm starting to realize that in order to find a permanent way out of my yo-yo habits I will need to do some serious mental work first. They say you need to accept and love your body as it is now and that's the first step to taking care of it properly which will lead to healthy habits and ultimately make it possible to reach my weight loss goals. Unfortunately, I don't think I've ever accepted and loved my body, even when I've been at lower weights and when I look at those pictures now I think I looked great, but at the time I was too full of self hatred and criticism.
Losing weight has been a struggle for me for my whole adult life. I'm thinking that just the mentality that I need to lose weight is part of the problem. If I am focused on counting calories, fitting in a set amount of exercise and stressing out about tracking for assorted challenges, then its almost a constant reminder that I'm not good enough the way I am and that's why I'm trying so hard to change myself.
My self analysis is heading towards what I need to have my new outlook be. Maybe I need to find a more relaxed, nurturing way of caring for myself. Instead of focusing on the numbers (scale, calories, minutes, etc) maybe I need to just work toward what will be best for my body. Being more active overall, yes trying to fit in the structured workouts but being gentle on myself if it doesn't go according to plan, because it rarely does. This is real life. Since joining the CSA this past summer, I've been increasing the fresh fruits and veggies that I've been eating and having fun with a goal of trying at least one or two new recipes a week. Filling my body with healthy foods which make me feel better seems like a much better focus than thinking about all the things I can't have.