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Friday, August 16, 2013

The New York City Department of Education says that only 26 percent of the city's students passed the English portion on a recent standardized test. But on the bright side, they're too bad at math to realize how bad that is. -Jimmy Fallon

A movie opens today called 'Elysium.' In the movie, earth has been overrun with crime, disease, and pollution. Basically, the entire world is Los Angeles. -Craig Ferguson

There's a new cable channel of entirely dog-based programing called Dog TV. In a related story, there's also an entirely cat-based channel called YouTube. -Conan O'Brien
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