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I'm not a ray of sunshine today.. (Lots of pictures)

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Let me start this by saying, to everyone who read my last blog and donated/shared my friends story, thank you. We have raised over $3,000 since then, and are now sitting at $5,240. There's still more needed, but we are well on our way there. So thank you, from the very bottom of my heart.

And now on to my disappointment.. This has been a really super rough week for me! To give you all a little TMI (men, close your eyes now!) I am really irregular, and so I've been PMSing for a month now without getting my monthly, this week has been the worst. I over ate by a LOT on Sunday and Monday. Tuesday, I was back on track with food, but I didn't work out. Last night, I did Zumba, but couldn't do my regular boot camp ST DVD because my knee was hurting. This was the week I was hoping to break into Onederland, but with as craptastic as its been, I'm not sure I will. Tuesday night was stressful to the max for me, and I had a total meltdown. I got word that one of the AP people at my work hates me and is trying to get me fired by trying to accuse me of STEALING. Now, I am a really hard worker. I go in early, Ill stay later, I'll help in multiple departments, I do whatever I can do be a good worker. I try to be pleasant to everyone, helpful to those who need.. Etc. So to hear that.. I completely broke down. I called my best friend and was absolutely hysterical, screaming and crying so hard I could barely even breathe. Didn't get to bed until 4 in the morning. The next day I talked to one of my managers, and he said that he's pretty sure I won't get fired. And even if they somehow "found" something to fire me on, he said its at least a 4 month long process with lots of coachings along the way, so I would know. So I feel slightly better about it now, all I can do is just go to work, pretend I don't know anything, and keep smiling and working hard. And pray that they don't make up a reason to fire me, I can't afford the cut in both pay and hours by going to a different job.

So this week has definitely been crap, and this morning was really no exception. It was my day to take measurements and take pictures. So naturally, I didn't lose any inches, and I don't see any changes in the pictures. I really don't understand. I'm definitely losing weight, the scale is moving. My clothes are fitting looser, I'm definitely losing inches.. So.. What gives?! So very frustrating. Maybe I'm just bloated, I don't know. Anyway, here's my progress pictures over the last 3 months. Don't laugh.

From the back, I literally see NOTHING. No difference. How is it even possible?! I'm working my ass off. I'm strength training. I'm doing good cardio. I'm eating enough, and eating lots of healthy foods. I'm making sure I take accurate rest days, and getting enough water and sleep. SO FRUSTRATING. If the evil SCALE is showing progress, how is it that pictures and measurements won't, even though those are supposed to be the most accurate?! Uh! I definitely am not giving up, I'm still forging ahead. But this is very frustrating. I'm ready for this week to be over, and for next week to start and be BETTER.

I hope you all are having a lovely week.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can see changes in your photos! Look at your thighs and your waistline: definite changes!! emoticon
    1708 days ago
    I'm gonna tell you something weird a fellow spark person had me do on comparison pics, turn the pictures upside down and see what differences you can spot. When u look at something from a different angle it was easier to notice changes I didn't notice before. It might sound silly but it worked. You are doing fantastic, keep up the great work! :D
    1708 days ago
    I can see definite changes in the photos!! No i'm not just saying that to make you feel better, I really do see a lot of differences.

    I'm sorry about your horrible work situation. Personally I don't think the manager that you spoke to said or did enough. It isn't okay for another employee to spread lies about you and it really isn't okay for the manager to brush it off as it's a long process. Perhaps you should speak to another manager or your HR department.

    You are doing great and you shouldn't beat yourself up over having a difficult food and exercise week. You have had a very bad week outside of your food and exercise and if there is anything that any of us can do, we are all here for you!

    1708 days ago
  • AMY4593
    I see a difference!! You look great!!!!!

    1708 days ago
    I can see a difference for sure!! Sometimes we don't notice all the little things that other people can pick right up on. And all those little things equal out to a big change all over. You look great, keep up the good work emoticon
    1708 days ago
    I can see a definite difference in your tummy, just below your bust. Take a look at the side and front views again. See how the "roll" that used to be under your breasts is gone now?

    Plus, your waist is more defined. It's subtle, but it's there.
    It's hard to see differences in just a month. Just wait, in another month, compare the first pics with those ones, and you'll see a bigger difference.

    Besides, maybe the fat that you are losing isn't where your pics show - perhaps you've lost in your calves or something.

    Hang in there - you are making great progress!

    1708 days ago
    I can totally see a HUGE difference in the 3 months! You have got this...even if you've had a slight detour due to stress and the T.O.M. Its ok! Even if you are maintaining right now its AOK. :) I'll say a prayer regarding your work situation and hopefully it will all blow over soon....and hopefully someone will call our your AP and tell them to shut their piehole b/c you are a good employee! :) (BTW - on the irregular thing, I have NEVER been regular and actually this time last year I had 45 days between cycles, so I totally get it. BC was the only thing that made it regular. so I totally get it and know how frustrating it can be.)
    1709 days ago
    You are making major progress. Like everyone says, keep positive! you can do it!
    1709 days ago
    There is a differene!! I can see a big difference from june to august! Keep up the good work! emoticon
    1709 days ago
    Definitely seeing a difference from June to August and a smoothing out from July to August. The changes may be smaller, but they are still positive changes!

    Hang in there with everything going on in your life. Keep pushing and stay positive cause you're worth it!
    1709 days ago
    Everyone loses in different places, but you can DEFINITELY see a difference! Way to go! A picture says a thousand words - like recalling all of your workouts! You look MUCH smaller now!

    Some people have nothing better to do than try to bring others down so they feel better about themselves. Sad but true. Just keep being wonderful fabulous you and it will be harder for people to believe the negative lies!

    Chin up, you're doing great! Keep up the good work!!!!!!
    1709 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    I can tell a difference in the pictures for sure! You shouldn't be so hard on yourself! I know how hard that is...trust me, I know...but seriously! I know you have been going through a lot but take it as a good thing that many people have noticed differences in 30 minutes since you put the blog up.

    I will focus on the positive OTHER than your changes. That is great about your friend and I hope that she continues to get the funds to help her :)
    1709 days ago
    I see the difference -- to me you look more narrow - like you are shrinking in. Does that make sense? Your shoulders look wider in the July picture vs the August one. They are subtle, but if you study the photos, you can see them.

    I am sorry your co-worker is being such a B - that is not cool. As long as you go to work and do you job you should be fine. I think you have a good plan of "attack"

    keep up the awesome work!
    1709 days ago
    I can see a difference, too. Major from June and August, but I even see the difference between July and August. Keep up the amazing work!

    PS. I ended up getting meds to help with my period. It was "regular" for me to be two weeks late. If I got stressed, it pushed it back. If it got pushed back, I would get stressed. This is what we call a catch-22 and it was ruining my life. I would also get full-blown PMS for 3 weeks because my body knew when it was SUPPOSED to start, but then it didn't, so I was a raging, bottomless pit until I actually started. Drugs to the rescue my senior year of college.
    1709 days ago
    I told you this already but I see major differences. Your arms are smaller, your tummy is smaller..your firming up. Trust me..you look great! AND the scale is moving! Onderland this week! Also from the back especially from the first pic to the third..lots of changes..you are the most critical person I know..and I know after me a million ppl are gonna point out other differences...so listen to us :) We loves you!
    1709 days ago
  • LADYJ6942
    There are differences though subtle. I am just finally starting to see changes in my back after years at this game. It comes off where and when it wants too, bascially in reverse order of how it was built. Hang in there and keek pushing.
    1709 days ago
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