Where do I Draw the Line?
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Where does 'helping' become 'enabling'? Where is the line between being there for your adult kids and carrying their baggage for them? What happens when 'for the summer' becomes 'til we get it all together'?
As you may have guessed by the above, the summer is over and my little houseguest is still here. I am trying to enroll him in HeadStart, but I am afraid Grandpa & I make too much money for their financial guidelines. And as we are not receiving anything for caring for him, we can't use his step-dad's income. And since we do not have custody or guardianship of him, we don't get a tax break & can't put him on Grandpa's insurance. So we are in a trick bag, as my dh says.
Also, my little man has some behavior issues that I think he needs help with, but once again, there is the problem of how to pay for it. Some things have improved just with being in a stable home with a routine that repeats itself day after boring day. But some things seem to be deep-rooted habits, coping mechanisms that he has developed to make himself feel safe and in-control. Which has become a problem for us, because in order to keep him safe and well, WE need to be in control of a lot of his life. He is, after all, only 3 going on 4.
I'm not really expecting any revelations of an easy solution to my problem or answers to my questions. Just venting. Oh and, by the way, I've gained 3 pounds back! Instead of going down, that nasty little needle on the scale is creeping back in the other direction, laughing as it goes. I may take a hammer to it yet!