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Transition time

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Now that school has started for my daughter and part time school will be starting for me in a couple of weeks, we are going through some adjustment. Schedules and expectations for the days are changing. I can easily admit that I don't like change and I struggle to adopt a more enlightened attitude about it. As a single parent, I feel that my life is fairly chaotic as is. There are many demands on my time and energy that are not shared with a partner. Order is important to me so I don't blow a gasket. When I feel overwhelmed by responsibilities, tasks and deadlines I can be a raging lunatic at the worst and an irritable grump at best. Routine and order in my environment help me to deal with things more productively and to be a nicer person. When routine and order are interrupted *bam* the fear of failure can trigger anxiety and depression. Outside of the negative effects it has on me, that's the LAST thing my daughter needs.

So far this week, I have been keeping fear and anxiety at bay and maintaining optimism. Even though my routine is already experiencing disruption and this is causing me some fear of failure, "one day at a time" is how I'm taking it until the new routine and order are established. The weird silver lining of this is, when I was lamenting to myself that I no longer have the freedom of spending 2 hours at the Y every day, I suddenly realized "Whoah. Hold up! I WANT to spend two hours at the gym every day?!?!" Boy how my life has changed. Yeah, I could easily spend two hours a Y every day if I had the time. That's AWESOME!!!

So great. I've gotten myself to LOVE being active. I LOVE exercise. I have an inner athlete that has been restrained all her life that has been let out and I want to WORK her. The problem with this, at this point in the year, is figuring out when and how. I definitely don't want to regress, fitness wise. It is imperative for me to maintain and improve. This week has been weird already but so far, I've fit in some good runs and a hip hop class. Tonight will be trickier but I am DETERMINED. I am required to actively seek solutions to this issue. I may not be able to get to the Y during the week so much anymore, but I have to find other ways to get in my exercise. One of these solutions, I am afraid, may be to set my alarm an hour earlier in the morning to log some sweating time. This idea strikes fear in me too. Historically, I have never been good at getting up earlier to exercise, especially when sleep is at a premium for me. However, I will be giving this a go again, for the umpteenth time. I MUST get a better attitude about this. C'mon, girl. You can do this.

Another thing: crockpots are good for saving some time the week after work. I love being able to throw stuff in the pot before work and not having to deal with cooking when I get home. I need more HEALTHY crockpot recipes. I will be checking the sparkrecipe site to see what it has to offer. Anything I can do to shave time from my day to apply to exercise is good.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are like a completely new person from when I first met you on Spark. I'm so very proud of you, and grateful to have you in my life. Brava!
    2070 days ago
    Great job bringing out the inner athlete in yourself! I know this will be a challenging time for you, but it sounds like you already have things well under control! You are strong and will adjust to your new routine just fine. I have faith in you!!!
    2073 days ago
    I feel sad that you have sole responsibility for everything, but there are many pluses. You get the make the decisions without all the muss and fuss, you have more control, and you don't have to be bothered by someone who does not do their part in the relationship. Many women are married and feel the same as you.
    If you are unable to do the early morning workou,t you might consider a home gym that allows you to workout while your daughter is doing her homework. It has been great for me. I work on my elliptical as I do my studying, etc. I used to get up at 4AM to go to the gym, so I could get to work by 7:30 AM. I was so tired I was useless so I husband begged me to stop. I started working out in my lunch break and then finished at home. Now I work my own schedule so I use my gym at home all the time. We all have places to go and activities so I sometimes work out early, late or several times a day. My family knows my schedule and they work around it and we all pitch in to get the work done. My efficiency has improved as I try to get the most done in the least amount of time.

    I hope you can get your daughter's cooperation in scheduling your ME time. Allowing your daughter to take care of her own homework, room and other responsibilites will make her much more independent. Hope you find a happy resolution.
    You will figure it out, I am sure! emoticon emoticon
    2073 days ago
    Wow! I'm very impressed with the insight you have with yourself! Many people can never get control over anxiety and/or depression largely because by the time they realize it's happening -- they are already in the middle of it!

    Look at you! Busy as you are -- you are still able to have that kind of reflection AND have implemented some drastic changes to your lifestyle. Fitness is a biggie and you have that "inner athlete" of yours, despite all the other demands on your time and energy. I'm so impressed!

    I think the crockpot could be a good friend of yours for the next little while at least. As well, if you can plan some convenience into your shopping/dinner menu; for instance, pick up a roasted chicken at the store and have a couple of meals from that. One as is, maybe chicken sandwiches for lunch or a chicken salad or stir-fry... see what I mean?

    You really DO have things going for you, Girl! I'm sure you're realizing what an amazing job you are doing! You Go Girl!
    2074 days ago
  • NHES220
    I like the crockpot recipes. I like the creamy italian chicken, pot roast - instead of the cream of mushroom soup I use beef broth and red wine, pulled pork and barbecue chicken. All on SparkRecipes. I have them in my recipe collection.

    2074 days ago
  • LORI2562
    I keep seeing the saying "Nothing changes, without change." I have made a lot of changes in the last few months, and when I look back over all the changes, I see such great things in myself and my family. Getting active and losing the weight has made me a happier, healthier and a more positive person. That is a good thing for me and for everyone around me!

    After reading your blog I can see that change has also been good to you! Without change you would not have found your inner athlete!

    I know that scheduling changes are different and can be tough to manage while we are in transition, however I try to look at them differently now and embrace the changes with the hope that they to will bring about more positive change in my life.

    I too worry about my exercise routine and how the winter will play havoc on it, but I know that this is a change that I have no control over. I am trying to plan how I will keep up and not let the cold weather set me back. I am making a list of fun new winter activities I can try on the nice days and what I can do inside on the chilly days.

    You can do this! Make a list of all the positives that can come from or out of the changes that are happening and run with them!

    emoticon emoticon
    2074 days ago
  • no profile photo SUEPERWOMAN

    FANTASTIC !! To have found that inner athlete makes ALL the difference.
    You rock!

    Love, Ginger emoticon
    2074 days ago
    emoticon Good for you that you are taking care of your fitness needs in the middle of adjustments! emoticon hugs, Laurel
    2074 days ago
    I have to say, as I sit here AMAZED and AWED, that I am so very happy for the AWARENESS of wherein your issues lie, Holley!! What insight into yourself you have. That is three-quatrers of the battle, My Sweet!

    You got this, Girl! You WILL adapt and change, because that is the NATURE of living! No change, no life. It's that simple. And a little change is good for us...keeps us on our toes...and YOU, My Love, are lookin' like a prima ballerina from here....lolol

    love you SO, BabyDoll!
    2074 days ago
    Awesome - let that inner athlete out!!
    2074 days ago
    Change is really tough. Especially SCHEDULE ones, ugh. Everything has to shift and it can be so awkward. The best piece of advice I got was to envision how it will be once the adjustment is over and keep working towards that, try not to get hung up on "the middle" as much. I totally hear you on the anxiety, depression, overwhelming panic, etc... that change can bring. All we can do is put in a little extra effort to manage it in advance and prep for what to do when it comes (because it WILL happen!)

    The crockpot is a LIFESAVER. Are you on pinterest? I have found some awesome, super simple crockpot recipes on pinterest. There is also a great selection of "30 minute meal" type recipes, which are VERY helpful too!

    Any way you can combine fitness time with spending time with your daughter? Maybe you guys can go for a walk or have a dance party together? You are SUPER MOM, and focusing on your fitness is a great gift to both yourself AND your daughter! Way to go!!!!!!!!
    2074 days ago
    2074 days ago
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