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this can get nasty . . . .

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

What I am about to share is not for everyone. This would be a perfect time to make your exit emoticon . Yesterday I decided to have colon hydrotherapy, or a colonic. Why? With the stress of this last month ( emoticon ) I have been snacking on some pretty non-nutricious items. Those little packaged, sweet, seemingly harmless delectibles that sit in the grocery aisle between chips and cereal. Those items have no nutritional value. They are full of carbs, sugar and sodium, and yet, I ate them. So much so that my tummy was bloated and yesterday morning I doubled over with sharp abdominal pains. Dreaded constipation. Those snacks were like cement in my colon. And it was also making me feel sluggish, unmotivated, tired and grumpy.

I have done colonics before. Three years ago. If you never have, let me explain. The Colon Lady or Man puts this instrument up your wahoo (anus emoticon ). It looks strikingly similar to an adult toy. The instrument has tubing running from it to this machine. Once the therapy begins, warm water is passed through the machine and into your colon and small intestine. The CL monitors your comfort level. She continues to fill your colon until it is uncomfortable. At that point she stops the water which causes a change in pressure. That then allows any trapped gas to make its way out of the other side of the tubing (the gas is typically what causes the discomfort). Once she releases the gas for you (in effect you are farting into the machine but with no sound or smell), she fills you with water again and repeats the process until you have had about 30 minutes of fill time. While this is all happening, your tummy gets all sorts of cramy and it actually swells. But the best part of the entire process is what happens next: the BM.

This is gross so I apologize in advance. After a colonic, the BM is fast and forceful. No pushing or straining necessary. I am pretty sure I released my 1993 Thanksgiving dinner. The colonic allows old, caked on gunk to fall off your colon walls. It also sheds fatty deposits that have been living in the colon walls. Truthfully, it sounds disgusting, and it is, but this port of the process was such a relief. I almost instantly felt better. When I finally goto ut of the restroom-15 minutes later- I felt lighter on my feet. I just felt healthier. It was the feeling you have after having the flu for several days and finally waking up better. That was yesterday. This morning I woke up and felt even better! I also immediately noticed that my tummy looked smaller. Tamed. Today I wore a black high-waisted, skirted business suit with a fitted white camisole. My friend Tricia looks at me and says, "Oh my gosh! Look at your stomach! You can totally tell the difference!" I think because of the types of foods I was eating, the colonic instantly made an impact because theya re all foods that go straight to the gut. But now, I need to ensure I don't retreat back to stress snacking.

Inspired by my cleanse I ate grapefruit, a banana, two strawberries and 1/3 cup of red grapes with blueberry oatmeal for breakfast. I didn't have time for a snack because I was so busy at work. Lunch was a cup of tomato florentine soup with 2 Saltine Crackers and a lovely salad with turkey, corn, blue cheese crumbles, 6 croutons and Craisins. My Light Ranch was on the side and I dipped my lettuce. I have already had one half gallon of water and am drinking more now. I intend to have salmon and yams for dinner. I only have 23 days until I become Mrs. Brown and I intend to do so in a fabulously healthy way!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    As I sit here cracking up thanks for the thorough explanation!!! I've looked into this but was told by my GI I couldn't have one. One of my moms friends recommended it to me. Sounds like a great flushing, glad it helped you. I'm sure you'll look fantastic when that wonderful day happens! You've worked to hard not too
    1740 days ago
    lol @ 1993 Thanksgiving dinner! oh my gosh you had me dying!!!!! love your blogs

    1740 days ago
  • SPARKLE1908
    I had one a long time ago and would love to get another one done....thanks for "reminding" me about them...the process isn't great but it could be worse...
    1740 days ago
    lol @ 1993 Thanksgiving dinner! That's hilarious. I've never really wanted to get a colonic (although I did convince an ex-bf to get one once). I'm glad you got some relief from your tummy woes! Great start with the clean eating.
    1743 days ago
    Hmm.. after reading this, makes me kinda want one.. I have an appt next week to do nutritional testing. Hoping that will give me some guidance to be the constant bloat.
    :) emoticon
    1744 days ago
    Wow thanks for sharing your experience. I always thought of doing that but at least now if I decide to I know what to expect.
    1744 days ago
    I love how brutally honest you are in your blogs!

    I haven't done one before, and at this point don't really plan to. Maybe someday, but since I (TMI TMI) have IBS, constipation has never really been an issue for me...
    1744 days ago
    Oh the things we do for love emoticon emoticon
    1744 days ago
  • SUMMER2203
    im actually really jealous haha...ive always wanted to get a colonic!!! and this makes me want one more!
    1744 days ago
    No pain, no gain, right? emoticon
    I'm sure it was unpleasant but in the end it was worth it!

    1744 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    I've never had one done and from what you've described, I don't think I want one. Glad you're lighter on your feet now! LOL
    1744 days ago
    Glad you're feeling better.
    1744 days ago
    I'm sorry! Better you than me! Enjoy your wedding if you don't post before then !
    1744 days ago
    The instrument is pretty dainty so it sounds a lot worse than it actually is. And it wasn't one particular thing that made my tummy hurt, it was weeks and weeks of eating bad after eating good for over a year. I feel a ton better.
    1744 days ago
    OH wow... That does NOT SOUND FUN. I'd probably cry. That sounds 5000x worse than a pap lol! ANYWAY, I am glad that in the end it made you feel better and not bloated. That is awesome! And probably worth the discomfort. Also awesome that your coworker noticed the difference in your stomach! Go girl. I am so excited for your marriage. Eeeee! The next 23 days are going to FLY, I am sure!
    1744 days ago
  • DALID414
    Wow! I don't think I've had anything make me feel awful enough to get a colonic! Glad you're uh, cleared up.
    1744 days ago
    LOL!! Although an unpleasant experience i'm sure, did it make you feel better? I've heard pros and cons of this procedure. I was never brave enough to actually do it.
    1744 days ago
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