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Today has been very depressing...

Monday, August 12, 2013

This morning I was awake at 9:00am as I have not been able to sleep lately (Have no idea why) and made breakfast of special K and hot tea.

Then I did the laundry of mom's clothes for the nursing home and will do the dishes later.

Very depressing day today. Mom not doing well in nursing home. Neighbor who my mother knew from nursing home passed on today. My brother not wanting me to move in with roommate because it makes him feel old and also because he is afraid to let me grow up.

He thinks that I cannot handle being with a roommate.

I have lived by myself for what has it been now....about 8 months?.

Since January, 2013.

Anyway...he also makes me a little bit mad in the fact that he thinks due to mom not eating and all that...that she may only have two years left.

We do not know that. We do not what will be around the corner. He does not know anymore than I do when mom will pass away.

Also, I found out today that our neighbor across the street who is in the same nursing home as mom and is also her neighbor who has an upstairs room...died in his sleep this morning.

I just talked to his son and the funeral is this weekend.

Anyway...all this talk of death and my brother basically telling me on the day before I sign the lease on the apartment that he DOES NOT want me moving out on my own...has me worried.

Also when I got today's mail...I get a letter from...and if this is not a cruel joke...the funeral home where my step-dad was...addressed to mom about preplanning her funeral.

Is god punishing me.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Dealing with sick and aging parents is always very hard, and moving away from family is a hard thing too. We have to trust God to give us wisdom at these times, and know that he loves you. Praying for God's peace and guidance in your life (hugs) emoticon
    1715 days ago
    I am praying for you!
    1716 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Lord knows what is going on more than we do. Does not give us anymore than we can handle. Sending hugs your way.
    1716 days ago
    You have a lot on your plate right now and as we know the Lord will never give us more than we can handle.
    Go ahead with your life as you cannot live for others only yourself and if getting you own place will give you a since of freedom from all that is going on then just go for what is in your dreams.
    We cannot stop life and hold onto those the Lord wants with him and only he will decide when and if your Mom will be at his side in the future.
    So let the Lord be your rock and do not place your life on hold as you need to live and I am sure your Mom would agree.

    Enjoy your life as you have made great efforts in getting your health in order and now it is time to live the life you have dreamed of having.
    Best wishes, Sandy
    1716 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1716 days ago
  • SLACHETKA103145
    I hope that today is better! You have done something that you maybe couldn't have done a year ago...let it go and look forward! Always, always remember that you have many friends here who will stand with you!!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1716 days ago
    So sorry about the death of your mother's friend. Lance you need to tell your social worker that your brother is NOT the right person to be your financial caretaker. You are an adult now. You can handle having a roommate. It would be far worse for you to be your brother's dependent! Even if the roommate DOESN'T work out, you can find another roommate or a different living situation.
    1716 days ago
  • COREY195
    Hope you have a better day tomorrow emoticon
    1716 days ago
    I think you should tell that control freak brother to take his 'worries' and put them where the sun don't shine. He has no business to dictate to you how you run your life!
    1717 days ago
    Hope tomorrow is a better day for you!!!
    1717 days ago
  • DR1939
    1717 days ago
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