Sometimes life really just gets in the way.
Sometimes life gets really hard...
And sometimes, life decides to just take a giant poop in your front lawn!
(metaphorically speaking of course, since I have no front lawn...)
It's been a while since I last posted...
What have I been up to, you ask?
Well, German classes ended for me on the 18th of July. I have done nothing especially interesting since then. My days have become nearly unbearably boring. I wake up, have coffee and eat breakfast, study for the SAT, cook and eat lunch, study more if needed, goof around on the computer if I have time, review a bit of German, cook and eat dinner, go for a walk, go to bed. Good lord, I barely even notice I'm living in Germany any more. It's truthfully no different than living anywhere else. The only difference would be if we had a little extra money, just to drive the car a little bit and see a few places... I don't even want to go to restaurants, cafes, or coffee shops every day like most people here. I don't want to go shopping every day. I don't even want to go into expensive castles to see inside, and buy souvenirs. Just a little sight seeing now and then, even from the car! I really didn't mind at first, but after 7 months of it, I'm a little bit stir crazy. Have a terrible case of Cabin Fever, you know?
Aside from having no life despite living in Germany, I have been battling a terrible health problem for around 7 or 8 weeks...
I've done some research, and it appears to be Systemic Candida Overgrowth, or some such. The body naturally has candida, but when the balance is upset (my balance seems to be very, very upset) then it can cause a lot of bad things for your body. Basically, I feel like I constantly have the flu, I want to sleep all the time, my body hurts in random unexplained places, I have skin rashes that simply won't go away, peely feet, my rosacea is acting up like crazy in my face and arms, my bladder and kidneys hurt, and despite having had my Gallbladder removed in 2011, the area hurts again.
I did go to the doctor, about 5 times in 3 weeks. She confirmed my suspicions. She is very focused on natural cures(as all doctors here in germany,) so she told me she wants to let it naturally heal, rather than giving me a dangerous pill like fluconazole. So for about 3 weeks I did a relatively loose candida diet - no pasta, only black bread, eggs, fresh meats, poultry, fish, and fresh veggies/fruits. Plus some herbal supplements and probiotics.
But, it wasn't helping a lot, so I figured it wouldn't make much difference if I ate normally again. Especially since last weekend we had my boyfriend's little son, PLUS since saturday we've had a house guest - my boyfriend's friend from Egypt. It's really hard to make so many different foods.
After 3 days of eating normally, I feel like total POO. (just thought I'd let you know, I feel like using a much stronger word here, but opted not to, since I try to be polite)
All the skin problems came back in double, my throat hurts, my stomach hurts, my feet burn. BLAH!
So, I did some more research on the net, and I realized from the start I really wasn't being strict enough to make the candida diet really work. For the first 2 or 3 weeks you're not supposed to even have fruits, since they provide the Candida with food(sugar)
Starting today I'm trying to go back to the candida diet, except following it more strict now, since I really want these health problems finally gone!
Since all of this weirdness has been going on in my life, I really kind overlooked my weight... It's sad, actually, since I finally dropped under 200 lbs a few weeks ago, but was feeling too bummed and lethargic to make a big deal out of it. I really should have made a bigger deal out of it, gave myself a treat, or SOMEthing. It's just really hard to have enthusiasm about it when so many things are so... stale.
So, now my current weight is 195 lbs. Which truthfully, if I look past the lethargy of everything else, is pretty darned amazing. As I stated in a previous blog, I haven't been under 200 lbs since I was 12 or 13 years old. It's a huge milestone in my journey, and yet I was too "blah" to even pat myself on the back.
I really have to turn my thoughts and attitude towards a more positive direction. It's not healthy for me to feel like that all the time. I need to take joy and pleasure in living life again - even if I am living in boring way, at least I am alive, usually have enough food on the table, have a place to live, and most importantly, I still have the ones I love. No matter how near or far they may be.