May 1 Weight: 174.0
June 1 Weight: 164.0
July 1 Weight 161.0
Aug 5 Weight 153.6
...............May1.....June 1.....July 1.....Aug 5
Left Thigh..... 26.0.....25.75.....24.....23.7
My Goals for July:
1. 155 or less by August 1!!
2. 1000 fitness minutes for the month
3. be further along on push up challenge
4. continue checking each week with progress
5. be ready for "the vacation" with in laws by month end
Victories for July:
1. I am at a new low weight- under 154!! That has not happened in all my years at Spark!!
2. I exercised every day of vacation!
3. Although I did not write a blog everyday, I kept to my 10 day challenge even through the stress of cleaning out Mom and Dad's old house and getting all of that work done!
4. I made time to make cookies for the anniversary party and they were a big hit!
5. Clothes is starting to fit again- I have a new "old" wardrobe to wear!
6. I learned to enjoy a bite or a half of a treat and be happy rather than needing to eat the whole thing!!
I am back from a wonderful vacation. That's right...I said wonderful!
We started with a weekend of camping at Boy Scout Camp. My oldest son was there to be inducted into the Order of the Arrow- very cool, fun ceremony and he was very honored! It was very cold and rained most of the weekend...and we were in a tent, with clothes for warmer weather! I decided that I would make the best of it- get into the experience- find the positives, enjoy my kids and play! At first, all of that required thought on my part. But, as I got further from home and more into relaxing, it started to just come back naturally. By Sunday, we had had a blast and were sad to take the tent down. It had been a great weekend! But I was looking forward to getting to some warmer weather at the beach, I will admit!
Our week in Michigan was a week I have been dreading for a long time. What I realized, as I have been analyzing myself over the past few months, was that I do not like my in laws because they do not like me...so I always feel defensive around them. If they loved me, I think I would be fine with them! But when I am with them, I realize they do not really like many people- so I should not feel singled out! They are very judgemental and think that they are the best people in all situations. They can also be kind and are very involved in their community...they are just kind of snooty without really meaning to be. I won't say the week did not have its stressful moments- it did. There was even a full blown shouting match where my FIL was furious with me because I gave the kids packs of Sparklers to light at the beach when he felt he had clearly said no fireworks. I still maintain that a sparkler is not a firework and I meant no disrespect or harm by it all....but regardless, that led to a large argument and it was only day 1!!! Needless to say, there were no sparklers on the beach and although I apologized several times, he was angry with me.
I came into this week at the beach just drained. I had spent the entire summer helping my parents get out of their old house- cleaning, unloading, garage saling...it was a lot of work and very emotional. I am no longer speaking to one of my brothers and my once favorite SIL because of things that happened regarding the old house. I was just spent- entirely on empty. My younger brother even made me cry when he sent me a text saying- you DESERVE this vacation- enjoy it. I needed a break...and here was my chance. My inlaws rented a gorgeous house on the lake. My hubby and I could never afford to rent such a luxurious house...and we wouldn't if we could- we are "cabin" type people. I did feel somewhat ashamed of myself for not being more appreciative of what they were giving us because I was so consumed with my apprehensions and insecurities. I mean, staying in this great house in this amazing place was a gift that I should be thankful for.
So I decided in the first 1/2 hour in the house- wowowowow- that I was going to enjoy every minute that I could...and I did! I got up early every day. I walked to the beach, spent time with God chatting about things, and then I exercised. My husband and I exercised together almost everyday- sometimes he ran and I walk/ran at my own pace. We rode bikes. We climbed the dunes. It was great! We got back everyday just as our kids were waking up. I had already had a great day before anyone else was awake! I spent the week reading a silly book- THe Undomestic Goddess. It was silly and funny and I just loved it. There is never enough time to read at home. I watched my kids play. I even buried them in the sand, helped make pretend wedding cakes, jumped in the dunes with them, and played cards and Sorry and was just totally present to them. My in laws were not around the beach as much as they had thought they would be. It was cooler weather- so they did a lot of shopping and wineries and all of that kind of stuff. I got to relax and enjoy- and I loved that. I got to eat what I wanted without much drama from them. I fixed eggs when they were having blueberry pancakes, I had a salad when they had pizza- and this time, nobody bothered me about it. I woke up everyday and focused on the best of everyday and that made me able to ignore any stress.
The reason for this reunion was to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. I also spent time before we left making wedding cookies for their anniversary party. They were a surprise. My MIL knows it took a lot of time and thought to cut and decorate and wrap each cookie- and I think she was so touched that I would do something like that for their 50th Anniversary celebration. I think...or like to anyway...that maybe they saw that I am not as hard and difficult of a person as they think. I am overwhelmed by life, but not uncaring and unloving. I think at least they let themselves see a glimpse of that. Their celebration also caused me to look at my own marriage and all that has come from it...I am blessed, and I forget that sometimes. I love my husband a lot. He still knows how to stir me up in my deepest places. I have great kids- and I am so proud to be their mom. It made me think of my own legacy- and reminded me that I want my kids to look back on a healthy, balanced family life- and mother. (Not the unstable crazy, moody woman I too often am for them ) It made me want to do better, be better.
The night before we left, my husband and I walked in the dark and stared up at the sky....the stars were absolutely amazing. Even taking that 5 minutes to do something small but different made me realize I need to slow down and savor things a bit more. I need to enjoy what is in front of me. The stars are always amazing and show up in the sky every night....but if you don't look at them, you miss out! I need to direct my energies to seeing the positives in situations. I think I am different than who I was when I left here 12 days a go. I feel recharged and renewed...and I feel happy.
Thanks to my friends who knew this was going to be a tough week and who offered their love and support...since way back...as I mentally and physically tried to prepare myself! I did look and feel better about this whole trip because I grabbed control over what I could, I was about 18 pounds lighter going on this trip than I was when I started worrying about it back in April. Even though that number makes me giddy with delight, peope still haven't noticed the weight loss and I still have a ways to go....but that number showed me I could take control if I wanted to. I only looked slightly different- but how I felt inside because of it was what really counted! My friends here offered me support, encouragement and love...and that made all the difference to me. THANK YOU!
Now on to August! My Goals-
~1000 minutes of fitness
~ under 150 by month end
~ keep the feeling I have now- remember to stop and savor!!