Blog myself out of sabotage

I've had two health / weight loss issue on my mind lately and thought it best to blog before I drive myself crazy or eat myself out of house and home.

1.) I gained weight this week. The other day I had this moment where I thought, "you're not going to have a good weigh day on Wednesday." I don't know what triggered it, but I just had this sinking feeling. I was bloated and feeling not so great anyway. Sure enough I did gain 1.4 pounds from last week. So I tried reflecting this morning from a variety of angles - for starters it is my time of the month, which is never a lose week though usually I maintain. Second I lost 4 pounds last week, which I believe is a bit high for seven days so perhaps this is my body keeping me in check. Third, I reached for chocolate, sugar, and salt last week when I was hungry (and admittedly a little when I was bored). Now for the frustrating part: I remained in my calorie range (well within) all week despite my less than terrific choices AND I far exceeded my weekly average in fitness minutes (580 in comparison to my 390 goal). As a result I'm at a loss for what I should be doing differently. Yes, I should keep my food balanced nutritionally, but that can't be the only reason I gained a full one and half pounds. If it is, maintenance mode is going to be VERY tough. No matter, I'll remain constant and keep plugging away at this, I just wish there was a more obvious point of responsibility.

2.) I leave for vacation Tuesday. Since January I have heavily relied on SP to guide me through my weight loss. There was one day in May that I didn't use the site, but otherwise I track EVERYTHING. It keeps me focused on nutritional value, my water in take, and my organized fitness. It also validates my experiences and keeps me grounded. I have 9 days of non-internet time coming up, which I usually LOVE, but then again I was also 70 pounds heavier and highly stressed out. There isn't a gym, cell service, or wi-fi. There isn't a food scale or a farmer's market. There's more eating out and unorganized exercise, which isn't a bad a thing and I certainly intend to enjoy my vacation; I'm just feeling a huge sense of anxiety about the prospect of being "tested". This will be the first time I need to solely monitor everything myself - stop eating when I'm full, make an educated decision when ordering out, opting for outdoor exercise even when my husband is exhausted or taking a nap. We're going to Sedona and the Grand Canyon so exercise shouldn't be an issue anyway, i'm just not used to being unable to monitor calories in and out. I know I'll be fine I just hope I am successful as well.

My two concerns combined is where I hope I'm not losing it. I'm 5 pounds away from my initial goal weight (I'll still be in the heavy BMI so I will create a secondary goal). This is my first real gain in seven months and it's essentially the eve before vacation. I don't want to lose my momentum - I've never made it to a maintenance mode and it's something that's very important to me. So I blog myself out of sabotage.