Thursday, July 25, 2013
Today I was talking to my brother and he was telling me how he has started a new exercise and diet routine. When I started to respond, I noted that I couldn’t bring myself to say “me too” – not out of shame or embarrassment, out of pride – instead I told him I am 16 days into a healthier life. It felt good to say. I am done dieting! Dieting feels like a bandaid for a badly infected wound. It is only a temporary fix and even the name conjures images of deprivation and short-term projects or goals. So I am done dieting. I am changing my life and getting healthier!
Last night I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open and I didn’t get home til 12:30pm. Since I refuse to give in, I still got up at 5:30 so I could do my 15 minutes of cardio. Although I’m tired, it’s a different tired than I normally feel – can’t really explain, but it’s a less groggy sluggish feeling; just pure sleepy. All day as I remembered why I was tired and how I still got up at 5:30, I wanted to pat myself on the back and even started to smile at myself.
I have 16 days under my belt and just when I thought I would be most likely to quit, I was able to get myself going. This is HUGE for me. I’m a procrastinator and I tend to start off enthusiastic but give up on things or get bored quickly. To top it off, I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome which normally makes me feel like crap even after a full night’s sleep. Feeling like crap ALL the time is hard, but I have found exercise helps. I don’t know what’s different about this time, but I’m trucking along!!