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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

(Heavy Knock on The Door)
Voice: This is the Don't Beat YourSelf Up police! Open up!!

Trent (bows head in disappointment): Oh boy, here we go.

(opens door. 2 officers walk in)

Officer #1: Uh, yes Mr. Dreamer. We have a report of you beating yourself up in your last blog.

TD: Excellent! You have bad information. I didn't.

Officer #2: No, we have it printed out right here.

#1: Yeah, you went on for four paragraphs about all the bad food choices you made

#2: Yeah, that was most of the blog

TD: OK, so show me where I actually beat myself up, though.

#1: Well you called your decisions "mistakes"

TD: Yes I did. Because they were. Then I went on to what I learned from them. This Saturday's blog will reflect that.

#2: You ended the blog talking about how unhappy you were about the decisions.

#1: ...and that you wish you could go back and make different ones.

TD: Yes, because I was and I did. I had and still have the right to be to be unhappy about them. This week I made different ones and am happy about them. Again, show me the part(s) where I actually beat myself up.

(Both officers stare blankly at Trent)

TD: The reality, and you know it, is that I didn't beat myself up. I looked at what I did, blogged about it and learned from it. Isn't the whole point of blogging being able to share your experiences and how they affect you?

#1: Yeah but you were being negative. You need to be positive.

TD: Says who? I was positive that I made bad decisions and I was positive that this week I'd do better.

(Trent picks up vase)

#2: But shouldn't you focus more on what you did ri....

(Throws vase against wall making a really loud **CRASH**)

TD: No, I shouldn't!!! NOT IF I DON'T WANT TO! I should be free to make mistakes, be upset about them and be able to express my frustrations about them.

Sit in any locker room at half time or post game of any team that can win or could have won the game (after a bad half or game that didn't live up to their potential). Look at the coach carrying on to their team.

Look at the drill sergeant talking to his/her reports about his/her grandmother can do better than them.

Both of them know that their team/cadets/soldiers can do better. They let them know that. They let them know how.

Yes, there are people who really do dwell on everything they do wrong and it runs them down. That doesn't mean any expression of frustration will inherently lead to that. I've been the perfectionist that dwells on mistakes, I get it. But I've moved on.

Worse, I've known people who have given up blogging honestly about their frustrations both with themselves and in general, because they know their feelings are going to be marginalized because they break the 11th commandment of "Thou shalt not express any non-pleasant sentiments/emotions"!

Heck, I'll come out and say it. If a person knows that they can do better, know how to and have actually done so, they not only have the right to give themselves a bit of a tongue lashing after a bad day/week, THEY SHOULD!

(Officers cock their heads back in complete shock)

They should be able to reflect on the loss so that they can win the next game.

At the same time. If one is not succeeding and doesn't know why their stuck. They should be allowed to express their frustration and be greeted with both hugs and helpful advice from others. That's what community is supposed to be about.

Saying "Don't beat yourself up" to every expression of anything not totally all sunshine, roses and kittens allows for neither.

(Officers start inching toward the door)

This isn't church, the office or the social club where we need to have our perfect happy faces on all the time. It's real life. We should live it with and for one another.

#1 (opens door): OK we'll let you off with a warning this time

#2: Yeah! We'll let you off this time.

(Both bolt out the door)

Trent (sighs): Oh well. Time to go beat me up some dinner.

(Trent walks to kitchen to prepare dinner. Car starts up outside)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SCRAP317
    Amen, brother! Blogs are for reflecting on our choices and consequences - good and bad. I think we try to be cheerleaders for each other and sometimes it comes off glib. Let me rant, let me learn and celebrate with me when I am celebrating. Otherwise just commiserate with me about how you've been there too...
    1729 days ago
    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Me: The tough Love Dispenser
    Door opens
    Me: Listen up, the world is not all puppies and rainbows- you can and must do better if you want to succeed. Everything that happens to you isn't someone else's fault. Own your mistakes and learn from them.

    Seriously though, the "everyone gets a medal" mentality is taking over and giving everyone an excuse when they fail at something that was within their control. I'm all for looking back at mistakes and I certainly don't feel great about my choices sometimes but that's the purpose of self-reflection, to learn to make different choices.

    1731 days ago
  • MY1FAN
    1733 days ago
    1733 days ago
    I think sometimes beating yourself up over food choices is good. Sure, we all choose bad things at times, but the important thing is that you learn from it and know how to make healthier choices later on.

    Either way - truly, you are doing an excellent job!
    1733 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/24/2013 9:03:18 PM
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