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It's All Me

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

This seems to be my routine... I need to break the cycle. I begin. I do great. I let something get in the way (a birthday meal/an injury/an illness/a lack of time/whatever excuse you can think of) and then I fall off the wagon and hit the concrete harder than I did the last time and end up so bruised from the fall by gaining even more weight than I lost the last go-around. Then it takes so much to pull myself back up. It doesn't matter what words of encouragement are offered to me, or what brilliant ideas I can come up with to make this time successful; It's all ME. I guess when it comes to weight loss I am very stubborn. Say what you want, but if I don't just change my ways and suck it up and DO IT, it will just never get done.

I've been trying to get back on this path and I haven't even made it through a single day each time I begin again. This is for no other reason than the fact that I am lazy and I enjoy food oh so much. Those things will always be true about me - hopefully not so much the lazy part, but it seems right now they really are facts.

What am I going to do? Just keep getting fatter? Lazier? Adding more health problems and concerns to my daily worries? Buy bigger clothes...again? I am killing myself. This is the longest form of suicide I have ever witnessed I think. I need to do this for no one but me. I will say this... this is the last time I begin again. It may not be true but I don't know that for sure yet and I'm trying to get my confidence and self esteem and motivation back to where it should be so with that... today I begin again for the last time. I'm going to set myself up for success and I am going to try to convert my stubbornness into a tool I can use.

When I get home from work tonight I am going to set up my eliptical trainer and take it for a spin. I bought the eliptical 20 days ago and so far I haven't even put it together. One step at a time. I need to get moving again. This time there will be success.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MINEA999
    Just pick ONE thing you can do this week. And do that every day. It might be spinning for 10 mins or eating a healthy breakfast or just not eating candy (whatever your vice has been). Just do that ONE thing. Don't worry about the rest of it. And when you've got that mastered, do one more thing. You can't just flick a switch and be perfect or you're going to be scraping yourself off the pavement every morning!

    You can do this - be consisteny, commit to yourself for one thing, and you'll be off an running!!
    1768 days ago
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