8,500-9,999 SparkPoints 8,966

I need a new Day 1

Monday, July 22, 2013

I don't even know where to begin. I'm sure like many members, the effort and desire to work towards our goals waxes and wanes throughout time. We're doing really well, and then all of a sudden something happens, we don't have as much time as we used to, we slip up, and 1 day turns into 1 week, 1 week turns into 1 month, and 1 month turns into 1 year....and you're lucky if it stops there. I feel like that happens to me all the time. Sometimes I think I'm happy. People say I don't look like I weigh as much as I do (and shocked when they find out the exact number!), ice cream tastes good, and I'm gosh darn tired after working for 11 hours. What's the point? Why can't I be happy how I am? I would say I am happy - to a point. I will not say that I am miserable. I do enjoy eating, I have a fulfilling life, good friends and a loving family, finances are really tight, but I make things work. But I know that I can do more. I know that I can be healthier. How much happier and successful would I be if I didn't get sick all of the time? I know I can look better. It pains me to think that I'm not getting asked out on dates because of my weight. Part of me thinks that if a guy really liked me and was worth anything, he would see me as a beautiful person and wouldn't care. The other part of me thinks that while guys may think I'm a good person, they're not attracted to me in that way, so I never get asked out. It's frustrating. I am afraid the truth may hurt.

But - here I go again. I have promised myself "this time will be different" so many times. I want this time to be different, but will it? There is always that fear. But I know this time will not be different if there is never another "this time". Besides, whatever progress I do make is important and worthy of praise and better than it never happening at all. Acting upon a fear of failure will only guarantee your goal is not met.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hey Julie,

    I know the feeling of starting with good intentions and then something always seems to happen that takes me back to page one and my starting weight....for me it's usually a lack of progress, or just being impatient, so I go back to the mindset that this isn't going anywhere and end up talking myself out of it. Well I've decided that this time I'm going to stay committed to this for a year and a half (since this is when I turn 30). Would be great to be able to give myself a whole new body for my bday emoticon . I know that this is not going to be easy and we all need all the help and support we can get which is why I've chosen to join this site. I'll be adding you as a friend so that we can keep each other motivated and on track, in the end we'll be some sexy ladies emoticon .
    1791 days ago
    I can relate completely.. you begin to think you arent strong enough to do it and thats adding one more self defeating thought. I guess I just tell myself every day is a new day and try to be positive, but man isnt it hard? hang in there, I do the same thing so I dont know what to say that will motivate you for good but I bet somewhere in the forums you might find someone who will.
    1792 days ago
    You sound like you have the desire to change and if you do you can make it happen. It is unfortunate that our outside appearance is what people look at first. It takes one on one to know a person's inner spirit. Sad truth but there it is! You know you will feel better if you tackle this head on and start the journey to a healthier you. Believe me - I have been there myself. I can not tell you in mere words how much better I feel about myself because I did start this journey and intend to stay with it. If you need help along the way just shoot me a line. I am here for you.
    One Julie to another.
    1792 days ago
    That is really what it is all about, that we don't ever "give up". Keep getting up, dusting yourself off and start walking that walk again. You can never be the same, you know. You've learned too much, know too much, and can't ever get back to that "ignorance is bliss" place. This is not a bad thing! Keep coming back, keep talking to us, keep "day oneing" it and it will happen, that's a promise!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1792 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.