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Self-Depriving Rules -- Anyone else?

Monday, July 22, 2013

So, I am curious if anyone else is guilty of self-depriving rules? You know the ones....

Once I reach a certain size/goal/weight I can:
buy a pair of shorts
get a pedicure
get a massage
take a trip
buy a shirt
buy a dvd
have a girls night out
have a beer
take a trip to starbucks
eat a donut
have a dinner out
get a new pair of shoes

These are only just a few items that I have socked away in my own brain that I have subjected myself to. When going into a weight loss program, setting up rewards for obtaining a certain goal is cool and a nice way to treat oneself. It is good to be able to reward something that has been worked hard for. That being said, self-depriving rules are another thing all together. Putting one's life on hold until a certain number is reached or a goal is met is not.

I have been guilty over this. I have been one that wouldn't allow myself to go buy new shoes or jeans or get a pedicure until I reached a certain weight goal. I have been guilty of self depriving rules. I have been guilty of putting my life on hold until I have seen a certain number. Not allowing myself to enjoy life because I haven't been that ideal size or weight.

How dumb is that? I mean, really? Life is too short not to enjoy each day as much as possible even if I am not the ideal size I see myself as wanting to be. What is really wrong with treating myself from time to time? Am I any less of a person now than I will be when I reach my ideal size? No. I am the same person I was when I was bigger and I am the same person I will be when I am smaller. So, why not allow myself to enjoy things at any stage of the game?

Implementing this new rule into my life has been fun. I set a goal that I was going to allow myself to go and get a pedicure (a HUGE luxury for this mom of 4 ... sitting in a chair that massages my back while someone makes my feet feel good and my toes pretty is a HUGE luxury) when I reached my 5% loss. I got an invite from my b/f to go and get one so instead of saying "no thanks" I said YES! I went and got my pedi, enjoyed a starbucks coffee but most of all I enjoyed some time catching up with a person who I rarely get to see and miss the hell out of! It was pure bliss.

If I would have been partaking in self depriving rules, I would have missed the experience. Getting a pedicure is nice however, getting the experience is even more. Sitting there, enjoying a few minutes away from the kids, slowly drinking my coffee, spending time with my best friend was the experience.

Life is too short not to enjoy. Experiencing life at any stage of the game is where it is at for me now. Not partaking in self depriving rules and putting my life on hold until some magical number is obtained is done.

From here on out if I want a pedicure or to treat myself to a cup of coffee or even do the dreaded jeans shopping before I reach my goal size, I am deserving no matter where I am at with my place in the journey. I am done with the self depriving rules.

I am curious, has anyone else been guilty of this? Putting life on hold until a certain goal has been reached?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JUNEBUG0511
    Great thoughts! I think I am the queen of self depriving rules! I will have to re-think all of that....
    2251 days ago
    When I gave birth to my son, I was given a BUNDLE of Toblerone bars. I told myself "I won't eat those until I lose my first five pounds." Of course, I didn't start getting serious about weight loss until WAY after, so, when I finally DID open one... they were gross!

    I think the "No _____ until ______" can work for some people- for example, I don't get things like a mani-pedi done... EVER, so it'd be a real treat for me... if I really-really-really wanted it. But, I don't want it. For me, the thing that helps entice me to lose weight is the knowledge of the things I'll be able to do once its gone- the treats are there along the way, waiting to be enjoyed if I decide to partake!

    2253 days ago
    Great philosophy. I do just go ahead and do these things now. I have the things I want to be able to do, those are my rewards. Things I don't have the strength or endurance to do now.
    2253 days ago
  • SINGER73
    Agreed. Which is probably why rewards don't work for me.
    2253 days ago
  • A*L*P*
    Thanks everyone! My point (in case I didn't make it clear) is that I am not looking to "spoil" or "pamper" or "self indulge" but rahter NOT put life on hold anymore be it a pedicure or a trip to the store. Rarely (if ever) do I do anything for myself and I am tired of NOT allowing myself minor things simply due to a target number because numbers are cold.
    2253 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    You've had a great accomplishment!

    I used to practice self-deprivation when younger, but now I treat myself often.

    It's never too late to become a spoiled little girl! emoticon
    2253 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I tend to say things like "no new clothes until..." but then I don't follow through. Let's face, I have to be clothed no matter what my size is. I've pretty much stopped saying this to myself because it doesn't work for me.

    I also don't really set up rewards for certain loss or food/exercise behavior. I tell my kiddo that I shouldn't have to bribe him to do the right thing, and I need to hold myself to the same standard.
    2253 days ago
  • TINY67
    emoticon I think we've all probably done this at one time or another.
    2253 days ago
    I live each day as it comes, and I won't set challenges or goals, as I've found that when I do, I set myself up for failure. So I keep it simple. I enjoy each experience as it comes my way, and I remind myself that I might not be here tomorrow.
    2253 days ago
    I am pretty self-indulgent and if I really want something, I do it.
    I don't tie it in to health/fitness/weight loss goals. Usually my deprivation is because of a money diet......budget!
    2253 days ago
  • ELP1210
    I'm glad you said yes to the pedi! After all, we are all striving to be at our personal best so that our lives can be better and healthier! Why not enjoy the things we can now!

    I have put the self depriving rules on myself from time to time thinking it will be a motivator, but instead I end up feeling like I need to "sneak" these activities in.

    Keep going and don't be so hard on yourself! emoticon
    2253 days ago
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