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July 18- Wavy

Thursday, July 18, 2013

So today could be described as this! Wavy- sometimes up, sometimes down, and sometimes moving up or down.

Today, I was told by at least 4 people that they thought I lost weight and was looking good- another told me that someone else mentioned it to them the day before. I am still struggling to take this completely positive- but I am enjoying it (I am not one for a lot of attention- I like to fade into the scene)

I also had two great friends help me unload my mom's van for a show that I am doing for her. It was stupidly hot and their help made the whole ordeal easier, quicker, and less painful. But it was hard not doing it with my mom and just being her unloader and mover.... :( This entire weekend will not be the same- a lot of selling, eating out, and trying to make some money for her business!

I also dropped my hubby off at the train station- he is the best man in his best friend's wedding. So he is headed to NY and won't be back till Mon night. I was upset over stupid things about his whole trip- this afternoon it truly hit me why I was upset. (which I will get to in a moment)

I had lunch with some teacher friends- one of them was announcing a position change in our building! Very exciting!!!! The other two have been traveling everywhere, swimming, going out late, enjoying friends and family. As they continued talking about their adventures, their future plans, and all- I felt more and more blah- and just wanted to crawl and hide away.

Which leads me to why I have been upset- I have not taken a vacation, I am not away with my hubby relaxing and just resting, I am not even spending time with him when he is at home. My life has become a few things- gym, summer school, working on projects at home. It has not been play games, relax, go somewhere like movies, pool, out. I may do those once in a blue moon- but it has not been relaxing to the point that I will feel rested for next school year to come. I am overwhelmed with my projects at home, I am overwhelmed with thinking about next year, I am upset that I seem to spend no time with the hubby- even though I want to, and I feel burnt out some.

I had a student tell me today that it was okay if he wasted our time together- because I will still get paid regardless :( (BTW this was a 1st grader telling me this) Yea, the money is helpful- but really I choose to work with the students that still need it the most because I want to. I don't have to- I could work in other places and take a complete break- but I didn't.

Overall- wavy- guess it sounds like more lows than highs- but I am tired, hot, and my brain hurts from everything today. I would like to be a turtle. emoticon so I could hide my head for a few days and then come back to reality.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Remember to breathe! Slow and steady wins the race.
    2100 days ago
    Your days sound like mine, Rachel, just so busy and no time for yourself at all, always doing something for someone else!!! I see on your spark page that you like to read, so do I. When I'm really stressed, I'll just pick a time when I can get a few minutes by myself, (maybe only 15 minutes) and go curl up on my bed with a good book...but mind you I don't take any "comfort" foods/drinks with me! Just a good book and I just get lost in my book. Hope this helps a bit!

    I hope today is better for you!!!

    (I'm glad you're a part of our A&I team, the BSG Daisies)
    2100 days ago
    Amazing words for a first grader to utter! You do sound burned out, though. When I feel that way (and my daily post on the NoVA page suggests I am), I start with a pity party because I deserve it. When I can't maintain a proper funk, I get up and start doing something like cleaning or decluttering to get the negative energy moving to something positive. And then I make myself do something fun, whether it's schedule a facial or pedi, go for a walk, or just veg on the couch watching trash TV. A little fun and relaxation won't kill me, and the emphasis has to be on ME...my fun time on my schedule, and don't anyone DARE make me feel guilty. Hope you find what works for you.
    2101 days ago
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