Real compliments vs. Back handed compliments

Thursday, July 18, 2013

For the last 2 months, I've finally maintained my goal/ performance weight. The weight at which I feel the best and compete the best at. (That being said, I'd still like a 6 pack emoticon )

Despite this, I still feel a lot of negativity. I get the "you're so skinny" "you're like a size zero" "I'm sure you've been naturally skinny all your life" "have you ever weighed over 90 pounds?" And it's the tone that spits negativity.

For one, I wear a size 7. My ass and legs are not fitting in a size zero and havent since I was like 10 years old. Yes I am thin, but I have an incredible amount of muscle too. I have not been naturally skinny all my life. I've been average most my life and at one point put on 20 pounds in two months. Until these last couple months, Ive had a dangerous relationship with food and disorders. And I haven't weighed 90 pounds or less since the 4th grade. My point is mean skinny comments are just as hurtful as fat comments.

That being said, yesterday at yoga class we were doing partner work. The instructor was showing my partner how to do the move and made the comment "it helps she only weighs an once"..then he went on to say "but she's super strong" It's a compliment that has sat with me all morning.

I want people to see me as strong and not "too skinny" because I'm not. I'm at a healthy weight for my height and I am happy, I feel great, and I no longer have this unhealthy relationship with food.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MAGGIE101857
    I guess we have to take the good with the "bad". I do think the majority are well-meaning compliments, even if they are a tad bit jealous!

    Congrats on maintaining - that is a huge accomplishment! emoticon
    1739 days ago
    My mother had a saying...."I hate jealous people". I didn't understand it until I was about 25 when I came across a jealous person. It is a dreadful affliction and we should feel sorry for them that they cannot be happy for your good health and great body shape. Jealousy is a "spoiler", it wants to spoil what you have because they cannot enjoy it themselves. There are people who will admire your efforts and say so. Chose them to listen to, not the negative Noras!
    1739 days ago
    I can relate. I heard the same comments. I am a small size and just like you have not always been. People often stay you're so skinny or you need to eat. My doctor informed me that I am in good health and that my weight is good for my height. Friends and family always comment about my weight. I have lost 20 lbs and I feel great. I often feel like if I made off hand comments to them they would be offended.
    Hang in there and you do not have to explain yourself to them; as long as you feel great.
    1739 days ago
    1739 days ago
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