Year 6 Day 359 - Suffering a loss
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
This blog isn't about my journey here with SparkPeople. It isn't about weight loss, but it is about a different kind of loss. It isn't a loss they I celebrate, it is a loss I mourn.
The past couple of months we have been dealing with some health issues with our 14 year old cat, Lucky. There were many times we saw glimmers of hope, times when he acted as though he was improving and on the road to a few more years with us. Yesterday, after a quick downfall in just a little over a day we had to make that decision to end his suffering and begin ours. It was time to think more of him and less of ourselves. Lucky left for Rainbow Bridge a little less than 24 hours ago, yet it seems a lot longer.
Lucky came into my daughter's and my life in November 1998. His full name is Lucky Spencer after the character on General Hospital played by Jonathan Jackson. Melody had a bit of a crush on him and chose the name. We said the name Lucky, also came from he was Lucky to find a loving home with us after he and his siblings had been left outside the mall that had a Humane Society store. Also, the week we adopted him was the week of the Iron Bowl. That year Alabama beat Auburn 31-17 and, of course, that was because Lucky had brought us luck.
A couple of years later, Melody moved to Minnesota and I moved to California. Lucky made the move across country with me. He and D became fast friends. D had never had a cat. It didn't take long for Lucky to turn him into a cat lover. I remember watching them each night playing tag in the living and dining rooms. Lucky would nip D on the leg and run off, D would chase him and tag Lucky and run off, and so on. If Lucky felt attention deprived he would come and nip one or both of us on a leg and continue to do so until one or both of us got up and played with him. He was such a playful thing.
Then we made the move to Washington. We moved into a nice size apartment that, of course, was Lucky's domain. He loved the heat lamps in the bathrooms and would curl up in the sink to soak up the heat and sleep. He loved to be pushed while lying on the desk chair (with wheels) up and down the long hallway. I always knew when D was almost home from work because Lucky would run and sit by the front door and wait for it to open. It wasn't because he had seen D through the window, because he would make his way to the door before D had even pulled in to the parking lot.
In 2004, we adopted Prisscilla and Pilgrim. We had researched how to introduce the two new furballs into our home without too much trauma to Lucky. Well, Lucky, didn't like it at all after all they were in his domain. So, we bought a house. We moved from our 2 bedroom apartment to a 4 bedroom house. I jokingly told people each cat had their own bedroom and I had to share one with D. Once we moved into the house Lucky's attitude towards his new brother and sister changed. He accepted them and grew to love them. The house was his domain, just as the apartment had been. But, he allowed Priss and Pil to share his space. Lucky never weighed over 7 pounds. Priss and Pil, Pil especially, are bigger cats. Priss weighing in around 15 pounds and Pilgrim at 20 pounds. Need I even say which one ruled the roost? Lucky did for sure! But, oh how the three of them played. Oh the times D and I would wonder where the herd of elephants upstairs came from. They played hard, but they rested hard, also. Their bedroom would get sun throughout the day, when the sun would shine here in the PNW. The three of them would be on the bed or floor sharing the space and the sun.
I will miss pulling into the driveway and seeing Lucky in the window. Seeing him jump down to run downstairs to greet me. I will miss his jumping on the cat tower for some me time. I will miss seeing him sit in his chair across the table from me at dinner time. He loved to share our dinners, even up to this last Sunday when we had steak and shrimp. I will miss seeing him curled up with his Eeyore sleeping. I will miss the MEOW he would make when carrying his baby doll in his mouth. I will miss the jingle of the bell and tags on his collar. I will miss his head butts. His Elvis impression. His supervision as I cleaned house. His taking his bath on the bathroom counter as I took a shower. I say I will miss all these things and many more, but I already do.
Lucky may have been tiny, but he had so much love in him. He is loved more then he could ever know. I have a huge hole in my heart that was left by the loss of my beloved Lucky Duck. I know time will heal it. I know eventually I will be able to think of all the wonderful memories he left us with and not cry. But, at this time that seems an impossibility. His physical presence is no longer with us, but his sweet spirit will remain furever.
One more thing for now. Around a year ago I decorated my bathroom with rubber ducks. I used a bath set called Lucky Duck. Most appropriate as that was one of my nicknames I had for Lucky. I decorated a grapevine wreath with ribbon and some rubber ducks. Yesterday when we returned home from the vet, I went in the bathroom and one of the ducks had fallen off the wreath. A sign from my Lucky Duck that he is still with us, you think? I do!