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Brunett Jokes

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

To be fair..... PS - I'm brunett

Brunett Jokes

What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

What's a brunette's mating call?
"Has the blonde left yet?"

What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.

Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
So brunettes can remember them.

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?

What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.

Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

Why is the brunette considered an evil color?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
The invitation.

What do you call a good looking man with a brunette?
A hostage.

Who makes bras for brunettes?

Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
It matches their mustache.

What is the difference between a brunette and garbage ?
Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Why don't brunettes make good cattle ranchers ?
Because they can't keep their calves together.

What do you do if a brunette throws a hand grenade at you ?
Pull the pin and throw it back at her.

What goes screech-vroom, screech-vroom ?
That's a brunette driving through a flashing red light.

What's the difference between a brunette and a 747 jet?
Some men have never been in a 747.

How does a brunette turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.

Too Much Sugar
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

Pregnant Brunette
The brunette had been married about a year. One day the she came running up to her husband, jumping for joy. He didn't know how to react, so he started jumping up and down along with her.
"Why are we so happy?" he asked.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about."
She stopped, breathless from all the jumping up and down "I'm pregnant!" she gasped.
The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for quite a while. He grabbed her, and kissed her
"Wow, that is wonderful," "I couldn't be happier!"
Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more."
"What do you mean more?", he asked.
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
He was amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant "How do you that," he asked.
"It was easy," she said."I went to the pharmacy and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit."
"Both tests came out positive!"

Dieting Brunette
A brunette is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the brunette returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The brunette nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from all that skipping."

You Rang?
What do you call a brunette who gets a call on Saturday night?
... Startled!

The Brunette and the Genie
A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."
The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."
The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."
The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."
The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."
The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Have a great day.
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