Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I'm struggling a LOT since I came home. The weight is coming off, which I'm happy about, I've actually recovered from the gain of those two months off plan already, as far as weight loss is concerned. Most of which has been accomplished by eating one real meal a day. Because I'm struggling to have an appetite and having real issues finding ANYTHING appealing, and it's net even that I want all the wrong stuff or whatever, I just can't be bothered to figure out and then fix and then actually take the time to actually EAT anything. And that's not good.

I'm also not sleeping properly. Even with meds, it takes me two hours to actually FALL ASLEEP and then every little thing is waking me up all the time, the restless legs have been particularly bad lately.

My hubby has been working from home a lot lately, and there are aspects to that that I enjoy. But his job has been very busy and frustrating lately, so he's projecting all this "angry energy" all over the house and I can't relax.

So every few days I get sick of my own company so I get out of the house for awhile, but then I can't keep my act together when I'm out on my own either, I'm either snapping at stupid people for ignoring their children who are screaming/tearing around the store/generally causing mayhem (I mean really, WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THAT!? I have kids and I NEVER let them be so disruptive of other people! Never!) or I'll be just fine wandering along some aisle in Costco or whatever until I realize that I'm sobbing.

And SOMETHING is going on with my vision, so I have an appointment with a new eye Dr on Friday (our insurance changed when I lost my job back in May, so now I need to find a new eye doc, at least I can keep my regular doc and the weightloss doc!) but lately I've noticed that I need reading glasses for EVERYTHING that is within five feet of my face. So that's a struggle too.

I'd really much rather just be ok. I'd really just prefer that. This last six months of working and dad's death and all the drama with his estate and everything just feels like it happened to somebody else, because I'm back to sitting on the sofa addicted to FaceBook and Pinterest and playing the Sims and wondering what day it is. This is SO weird, I really HATE living in my head like this.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I hope things will soon be better for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourself, and know that your Spark Friends are here for you.

    1762 days ago
    First, you need a bunch of these:

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Next, are you being treated for depression? Don't be shy about seeking treatment - if you're having problems with your vision there might be one underlying cause of both. Depression can be both standalone as well as a symptom of other conditions.
    1772 days ago
    Bless your heart. You have come through a lot this year. Perhaps you need this time to just readjust before you can get back your "normal". Maybe when you go out you can go to a quiet place like a library to just sit and be at peace while you're checking out some magazines or books (just stay far away from the checkout desk and the children's section)...or go for a walk. Anything that is healthy and makes you feel better - even killing off a Sims or two like Danatta does. emoticon emoticon
    1772 days ago
    I really love playing the Sims its an outlet for me. ( if I am angry I kill one or too off.....but dont tell anyone hahaha) I agree with everyone it sounds like stress or maybe a lil depression. Sounds like you have alot going on. Try exercise. It helps me to walk when I feel like that, plus the outdoors help u clear ur no kids.
    emoticon emoticon
    1772 days ago
    You have ben thru a lot. It sounds like much of what you're feeling, going thru is stress. **SIGH** That's a hard one to conquer. And it comes out in so many different ways, including physically. LIke with your appetite, etc.

    I am glad you're going to get your vision checked out. That's important.

    HUGS my dear. You know we're here for you.
    1772 days ago
    Hopefully you can find an outlet to relieve you stress here soon!! Hopefully the eye doc appt. will go well too.
    1772 days ago
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