My new ways of feeling about me

Monday, July 15, 2013

Hello my name is sherry. I'm from Oklahoma . I love this site it's pretty awesome and free which I can afford it has great features and now I just got to use them this is a huge issue for me it's not the site that's failing me I know it's me . I know why too I just can't figure out why I keep letting myself do what I want it to do I have very good intentions but those bad habits start getting in the way I tend to get away from the moment when your busy you forget to think or plan that's where I keep messing up my plan I don't bring meals from home because I don't have time to mess with it it stresses me out after work dealing with family issues then just the regular stress of daily life I wanted to try to get like these salads and stuff but geez the calories out of the dressing don't give ya enough to taste it really so I'm trying a diffrent option now I was trying sandwiches by the time you add everything it cost a lot of money for a sandwich anymore I like lettuce tomato onions cheese ham turkey or whatever if no other meat I know high in fat but bacon tomato lettuce cheese are good but I use light mayo on them cause of all the added fat in bacon but I'm really trying to find a healthier eating plan for my lunch meal at work I can easily eat 3,000 calories out of the deli everything fried but tomolies and mashed potato and gray and Mac and cheese and our cold salads I love the broccoli salad I used to eat it every day but burnt out on it I'm wonder if anyone has any healthier alternatives that are fast and cheap I spend about 5 dollars a day on my lunch but its usually my lunch and breakfast and then I eat another meal later I'm just out of control with my portion sized too I allowed myself to eat more than I should bad me when I was going through some pretty stress ful times the last year basically I just forgot my lightbulb burnt out got depressed and now in having to start over that's the hardest part of having the mind set and getting depression wiped it out it I miss it I can't believe it but I know it happened it just like my mind was erased overnight but in reality I know it's not I know I just got to find it again and let me tell its not easy I'm trying to get back on the wagon and trying not to get broken wheel or anything else I been going through early menopause too the last few years and its got me going in diffrent directions too I'm not much on fruit but I'm trying to get more familiar with the fruit again I found I don't like kiwi fruit , strawberries or anything with seeds like that grit pears I like but not the texture and I love watermelon cantelupe bananas grapes cherry pineapples oranges lemon limes I use lemons and limes to flavor my water love it I also love cherries frozen I don't know why not completely frozen though I put them in ice key them get really cold ice box isn't cold enough I don't know why really it just another thing in my messed up head I think but I like the wraps we make at work they have chicken in them with southwest style sauce but I'm trying to break my calories up in between 3 meals like we suppose to even though one of my meals is basically a snack I never get time to eat before work its part of my not get organized with what all I have to do before work versus what needs done before I goto work and all the extra hassles I get into I want to prioritize my meals my day like times and date I'm going to set goals to do but I tend to get over whelmed because I never can get my goals achieved I give up on my self I have add and OCD with avoidance factor I tend to avoid thing when it gets stressful for me I quit give up or walk away but I been strong at work u know if I can hold a job for three years and husbands nagging for 20 I should be able to do this like a walk in the park I used to exercise everyday to some pretty hard core for me at the time I loved it though turbo fire and now I want to do insanity but afraid to since it been a year since I exercised other than at work I'm wiped by the time I get off I work 10a-7p 11a-8p and also 2p-11p all in the same week I usually get off at 11 and have to be back at 10 that just made me so tired I just lost control but that's my hours if go in at 2 I eat 2 meals before lunch but at 10 I don't get time to eat if I closed the night before I have to shower wash laundry and get that stuff done I drink coffee for energy but I only drink it at work now it used to be 3 pots a day now I starred drinking pop I shouldn't of but I have it's not something I can't live without unlike my cheese sticks when fresh My other weakness are wing dings and my coffee have to have it

I think I still making progress slowly but the last few months been Rocky but I'm coming back my depression is not at peak I'm handling a lot of stuff like a mountain now I'm pretty steady now I feel I keep my mountain up for now I feel like I can blow my stuff up if it get close enough to bother with me I'm done feeling like trash or used garbage that people just thinks to stomp on me I am not and I also am no ones slave or anything else I'm human I make mistakes and I won't lie a ton a day if not more the faster I work the more I make I get yelled at a lot at work I feel like I do a good job but my boss says another it's pretty pathetic if you got to be talked to about folding cheese hello there's only one way to do it not to make customers mad I like her idea but time is being wasted on folding pretty I believe you out 2 slices in the add paper stack to more add keep going till they get what they want I also waste wrapping paper on meats come on now most of the juices leak out. I use about 2 layers of seran wrap I'm wasting her wrap I'm just like ok whatever right I'm just tired of getting told how slow I am yeah I'm slow because in the meantime I'm slicing near and cheese cooking and rotisserie and hot case when needed during the whole day everyday if I see it needs done no one else is available or doing it well I will walk away from my salad or sandwich to help a customer long enough to get it taken care of everyone else I work with says I'm good a worker she just needs to get off my case for stupid petty stuff that don't matter I get along with her fine I feel it's just part of me that she don't like but I don't like certain things she does to me either that was part of my depression anxiety attacks and panic attacks when she starts yelling and stuff my palpatations kick I. My breath changed it hurts to work like that this started at the beginning of this year been dealing with it for 6 months but I changed I learned how to deal with it the better way roll it off it only gets ya if you let it don't listen to negativity it gets ya no where I learned that from her
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sherry, I know you got a lot going on, but I know you can do this - you've come so far - keep going - keep doing what you know what to do that is good for you - keep strong - you can do this - for you - its all about you - and what you want - the possibilities are huge! Good luck, we're here for you!

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    2060 days ago
    I bet it would taste just as good on my southwest salads I love them and I can make my own wraps at home with lettuce and cheese and chicken grilled of course put on a sandwich wrap and bring some salsa and buy a banana for a fruit and drink water or coffee and I be set I'm thinking about making up like ham shaved pre cooked and putting in ice box scratch that I can do this pre make my breakfast for the whole family everyday eggs and cheese and ham tortilla floured and salsa cook a dozen eggs like scrambled place tortilla heated then place heated ham then egg then cheese and what veggies like onion peppers no tomatoes or lettuce at this time because I don't like hot mushy tomatoes slimy lettuce or I never microwaved mushrooms so I don't know how they would do but I going to try to make enough of these to see how long they last I can put them in individual bags so they can pull out breakfast burrito heat and eat I can take then with me to eat if I have an extra 10 minutes to drink coffee I can have a breakfast too
    2107 days ago
    emoticon another idea use salsa in your salads instead of dressing. very low calorie, and pretty tasty! emoticon
    2107 days ago
    For your salads instead of putting the dressing on the salad, dip your fork into the dressing and then into your salad. That way you get a taste of the dressing in every bite. You'll be amazed how little dressing you will use.

    Much success on your journey!

    emoticon ~Pat~ emoticon

    2108 days ago
    Hang in there! Keep writing about how your are feeling! emoticon
    2108 days ago
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