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Monday, July 15, 2013

Good Morning; I agree that I stay out of their relationship as much as possible. They both love coming to our home on weekends. We are going to put boundaries on that too. DH and I are close again and we have been at odds on numerous occasions with DS and GF situation. He thinks they should come every weekend. I feel that they come here to put the baby in our hands and then do their thing. My DH works hard and we need to continue with keeping our relationship energized. With my DS and his injury can really take our relationship down b/c it can be so frustrating. GF is really a lot of work. She was in foster care for much of her young life. She is a good actress who tells you what she thinks you want to hear so you like her. We have caught her in numerous lies. As much as possible, I am respectful, but she is not mature- 23 years old- going on 15. The latest she got a bill collector call and she just decided to give them her banking information over the phone. Found out that the bill collector was fraud. DS told me b/c they had been arguing for days. She said that it is her money and she can spend it the way she wants. DS told me and I worked with her and we stopped her bank acct.
She was embarrassed and gave my son hell the minute he left our home. He tells me that she does not contribute to the bills b/c she got 2 speeding ticket in one month so she had to spend her money paying speeding tickets. DS does not want a child as a partner, but does not want to lose his daughter. From the observation, this match was never a love match, in fact my son was going to break up with her just when she found out she was pregnant. It is a long story, but I am glad for my grand daughter. DH & I have talked about raising her ourselves, but GF would not allow this b/c the baby is the only way she can keep hold of DS. Without the baby, this relationship would have dissolved long ago. Have a good day! I am starting my exercise program today. I needed a week to get over jet lag.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I really feel for you, but you are correct in trying to stay behind the scenes, because you are wrong which ever way you decide, or at least that has been my experience, wishing you the very best, and yes you have a relationship to work on with your DH, very important
    1746 days ago
    Growing up can be so darn painful....seems the GF really didn't have a solid foundation while growing up. From what I've read, foster kids learn to lie to just get through life day to day. If things don't go right, the GF will lie. Hopefully over time things will work out. Hate seeing the babies in the middle though.

    You're smart for taking care of the relationship between you and DH.
    1746 days ago
    Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. I have a great relationship with DS' baby mama, and DS is now engaged to another. Legal custody agreements need to be done, even though I'm sure they don't want to do that. We have been there done that too!

    Hugs to you and DH, it's not an easy thing to go through, and ultimately everyone needs to do what is best for the baby first, then for themselves.

    1746 days ago
    What a complicated situation, but your DS and GF surely are going to have to navigate those waters. **SIGH**

    HUGS and glad you are concentrating on you and your DH! That is vital!!!

    1746 days ago
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