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Snap out of it!!!

Saturday, July 13, 2013

What can I say....I'm trying!

This week was hard.

Sure, I started a new job with great potential, that is good for my family's schedule, etc. etc...but I (me myself and I) am having a hard time adjusting to life as I know it.

Crying at the drop of a hat emoticon

Change of appetite emoticon emoticon I really don't feel like eating

Gettin flustered easily emoticon

Worrying constantly about money emoticon even though we are aok - we pay our bills, our mortgage, etc... but still... it's a fine line sometimes...

Let's face it: I am in a mini-depression/mid-life crisis and I am absolutely no fun anymore. I have nothing witty to say.... I want things back as they were. I miss my past life (the people, the routine, my duties)... but that is never ever going to be ever again.. so despite all of "this" going on there really is not choice but to go through everything... day by day..

- Give the new routine a chance to settle in - 3 months is what my mother in law said. And she is right. Glad I am doing this work change while the kids are off from school and hanging at Daddy-Daycare (a.k.a. my hubby)

- give the change of schedule, duties, etc. a chance to sink in now that I am NOT in charge anymore = less responsibility really. Take it as a blessing. When I am off....I am OFF. I have to stop thinking about work and focus on family and the moment at hand. This is a hard thing to do for a "anal retentive schedule planner" like myself... but I have to at least try. The schedule is what it is... whatever new job I have, I have the same issues to deal with, so just deal already.

- give my husband a break - he listens, and that is good, but it also created pressure because he can't help in any way but what he is doing now... but I have a sister who will listen too, and she gets change a lot...she is a survivor of change in a way.... I have to lean on other people more. So I am going to.

- I need to focus on something just for my health...and I have neglected exercise before as a stress today, that is stopping. I am going to use it to my advantage this time around. I have to. BAHAHAHA! Sure Anne, no pressure on yourself there at ALL you twit! There you go again! LOL But seriously... I have to or else I might combust. That is what it feels like.

Why am I on here with this mental confession of sorts? Well, because it's real. It is part of what is going on in MY world..and yes, it does and will affect my health/my maintenance over time if it is not addressed.

I have seen too many people get caught up in the undertow of just this scenario... and I am so sorry for them when I read about their plights... but I am so sorry, but I don't want to be like that either and I HAVE to take charge now because, let's be real here, noone else is going to except for myself.

Sounds like a lot of undo pressure, now, doesn't it? Meh...maybe. I like to think about it as more of an "awareness of the situation" that can be changed according to my actions.

LOL And part of that last sentence is the pot calling the kettle black because I have paths that I am terrified to go down because of lack of certainly/crippling fear factor.

The fear factor is another thing entirely. I have a bad case of Fear Factor going on here as well. It's a too much change, too soon, don't want to take a life risk without getting my feet under me, but I might be missing out if I don't do something right now but I know I can probably do it with minimal effort but the startup expense is holding me back kind of a thing. Basically deciding to earn side money as an independent consultant for a product. That's the big thing I am talking about. Stupid huh? Part of me is why not? The other is that I don't need to spend $$ but business is like spend $$ to make money. I know that. But it's MY money and not someone else's that is the difference here. I work better with other people's money. It's their loss, not mine.

The long and short of it is that I need to give things a chance. Even if it's one thing at a time... one day at a time. To find joy in the now of today and not worry about things as much.

Funny, because I have thought of this process a lot like losing weight, especially in the last 2 days. It was a slow and multi-step process... and it took time and patience. I have to think like that more I guess...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    "Little Sis,"

    You will get through this time just fine. This is why "change" is so hard and why they call it "change". And believe it or not, your "anal rententive schedule planner" skills, will actually be an asset to your being able to adjust.

    Exercise, of course, if a great stress reliever, but try Yoga for a little relaxation help. Another thought, of course, is the "curse" of peri-menoupause may be starting.....but exercise and yoga works wonders for that too!

    I love how you talk things out, and really go ahead and work out your issues.

    You are great, and you will do Great!!!!

    Luv ya!

    1799 days ago
  • KANOE10
    It sounds like you loved your old job..I am sorry you had to leave it when your dad retired. You are right. Give your new job time..though it is hard when the new one is so different. Hang in there spark friend. You are right about trying to find joy in each day. You are dealing with stressful times on many levels. I know your strength and zest for life will get you through this. I understand the fear of moving to a consultant job. We are all here supporting you. I am glad you are getting support from your family.
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    1801 days ago
    Hang in there, Annie. You might not get to all the good habits, but start shutting down the bad ones. Keep blogging! We're here for you.
    1801 days ago
  • DALID414
    I'm not sure what to say. Maybe LDRICHELs blog from yesterday (Want to be happier?) might help.
    1801 days ago
  • AUNTB63
    I call myself a "survivor" of many changes over the years. So I know what you are feeling, but I also know that if you just make a priority list with you near if not on the top and take each day as it comes you too shall survive all of these changes. So your schedule is not what it was.....write out a new one fitting in that much needed "me" time. Oh I know you are thinking easier said than done, but you can do day at a time. Don't forget to stop and smell the roses along the way....each day is one to be embraced not worried over. Take care. emoticon
    1801 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1801 days ago
  • 434TERESA
    hang in there
    1801 days ago
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