Some Decisions

Okay, so I know my last blog was very depressing. I was extremely depressed. Still am a bit. But I'm doing better today that I was yesterday. I just needed some time alone and a good night's sleep. I made some decisions this morning about my future. I thought it'd be good to write them down and share them.

So I guess the first decision I made was I'm going to give my "monthly" another month to start, and if it doesn't, then I'll call the doctor who was nice enough to order me the blood test without ever having seen me before and get a checkup to see what's going on and go from there.

My fiancé and I have also decided that we are going to move up the wedding. I took some of your guys' experiences and suggestions to heart and came up with a plan B that is not only cheaper, but seems more romantic. We're going to move the wedding to September 14 and we are going to have it in the park with all our family and friends and have a bring your own beef BBQ reception. All we need is to pay for the judge, reserve the park, buy a CD player, get his clothes, and get my shoes. All that would be under $200. We have that already, so it seems like a viable option and we are going with it.

I also decided that I am going to seriously cut down the junk food, been eating it every night for about a month and a half now, and get back to exercising and losing weight. This decision came about from another decision that my fiancé and soon to be husband are going to try for kids later. Right now I'm just too destroyed from being so sure about it and being slapped in the face with it. Again. So we talked and decided that instead of just going off and trying for a kid half-cocked, we will find a doctor first and check us both out and go from there. But we both know that the doctor would say to lose weight as the first step. So I might as well get a jump on that and get back to losing weight instead of gaining it. Especially since I'm now off all medications except for the Metformin for my PCOS.

My next decision is definitely a big one. And came about after I came to work this morning and saw something that is extremely disrespectful. Honestly, I'm tired of not getting any support in anything around here and the sexism and being treated like an idiot. I can't explain all of what's going on due to time constraints and I don't want this blog to be 6 pages long. That's what it'd be, if not longer, if I went into all the details. I come in, look in my box, and there's all kinds of notes about how to do my job and to send this one guy to collections, even though he was in my box a couple days ago to send to collections and the office manager took him for some strange reason and just gave him back saying what I already knew. Honestly, every bloody time I get more paperwork to put in or whatever, I get told how to do it, even though I've been here over 2 1/2 years and know what I'm freaking doing already. And, the guys cut a hole in the bathroom ceiling to connect pipes from the AC that blows out in the station to drain into our sink instead of outside where it belongs! And since we are women, we get treated like we know nothing and absolutely everything is our fault because the guys who work here can't do no wrong. They're always right, they never make any mistakes. And I'm done with it. I can't get any other jobs where I live. Believe me, I've tried. I keep busting my head against the wall cuz everybody knows everybody and nobody wants to hire me cuz I have a record. Granted, it'll be off in a few years or if I blow over $2000 to have it sealed, but they still won't hire me. My only options are to move or to open my own business. So I decided that I'm only going to stay here long enough to get my bill and car and bankruptcy loan paid off or the boss dies. Whichever happens first. Then I'm going to look for a job either in the Denver area or I'm moving to Seattle and move away from this blackhole of an area.

So those are my decisions to move forward. Thanks for listening. Until next time, all. Take care.