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If I take one more step....

Thursday, July 11, 2013

"If I take one more step, it will be the furthest from home that I have ever been." -Samwise Gamgee
I had an impromptu 4 mile walk today...my furthest distance so far, hence the quote!

I had some disappointing news this morning from the unemployment office....apparently, it takes a month to receive benefits. They do not answer emails so I called in and waited an hour on hold for the lady to tell me this. She also could not give me an exact status on my claim, she just said the soonest I would get anything is on the 24th.
I burst into tears when she told me this and although it kicked off a panic attack, I gained a little satisfaction because I made her uncomfortable on the phone. (Petty, I know, but I didn't try to feel like that!)

Unfortunately, my phone will be disconnected on the 20th when I cannot make the past due payment...along with my car insurance, and I will be 2 months behind on my payment for my hearing aids.
Not quite sure how I will go about getting a job now with no transportation and no phone, but it is what it is.

After finally getting it through my head that there is nothing I can do about it, I decided that I was going for a walk. Not for time, not my usual route, and not paying attention to the weather (which started out 79 degrees with a nice breeze)...I just needed OUT of the house!

Just went for distance to see what I could do and to get some of the garbage out of my head.
First song up on the playlist was 'One' by Creed...

"I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don't try and change my mind."

That about sums up my morning!
I was feeling a little better a few songs later when 'Stand' by Rascal Flats came on...

"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand"

I kept slowing myself down from my usual pace...I had to remind myself that I was not trying for time, just going the distance.
I ended up walking 4.06 miles with a pace of 22'13/mi. I didn't jog at all, but I did walk faster after mile 2...not sure why unless that is when the breeze died down and the temp rose to about 85 and I was anxious to get home. I know the temp didn't rise too much, but I am one of those people who don't sweat hardly ever and I have a hard time cooling down, I just roast.
My pace was slowed just a bit because its been so long since I was out just to be out and not worrying about hurrying, there were so many wildflowers along the trail and the air smelled so good! I stopped for a little breather in the shade of this huge weeping willow tree. It was nice and cool under there!

And here is a view looking up into it...

This leaves me with 173 days left and 331.5 miles left to goal.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KAREN608
    Walking is good for our souls in times of distress.

    You might find a cheapo tracfone at dollar general with double minutes on it IF it is cheaper than the phone you had for a temporary job phone.

    I know unemployment checks are a fraction of income earned so I still feel for you.
    May a job open soon, and the right one for you.
    Do look for soup kitchens, churches that help etc, to keep food on the table and
    use the unemployment for bills that way.

    In our area we have a 'crisis center' that gives out
    groceries once a month and clothes.

    The churches have a program for gas money for medical appts and maybe job interviews? Ours takes copy of driver's license and calls to see if the person has an appt and if they showed up.

    They give $18 of groceries as well and sometimes help with the rent. These always are strangers that don't attend the church, even though a few families got hit by health issues in our church and we pitch in with money, food, meals as needed.
    Our church finances are not that good, so it's not easy in our deflated economy in our area.

    So do look for the help around you so you don't have to suffer as much until you get another job.
    1743 days ago
    I hope that something turns up soon for you. The walk sounds as if it did you good. Keep going on the 173 days . Praying for you.
    1743 days ago
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