50,000-59,999 SparkPoints 56,568

Crazy Dayz

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Hi! Yes I just put a Z in there, trying to be creative.

Crazy days. I worked 12 hour days Mon & Tuesday (7-7). Both nights I came home and BF had made dinner and did the dishes and all. I am SO thankful for him I can’t even express it. We bought this “Cooking Light” (like the magazine!) premade bake that says “Sometimes even healthy cooks need a break!” on the side. It was pretty good and BF could easily make it. I recommend it for those of you that need something like that on hand in a pinch!

Both of my big projects wrapped up last night so I am trying to reorient my brain today. Mexico is in THREE DAYS. I have yet to pack a single thing. I’m starting to freak a little bit, the planner in me is going crazy now that my brain has space to do so. I am starting to get ridiculously excited. I know I should be working out like crazy but I’m accepting myself as who I am and that is who is going to this island and wearing bathing suits and who cares? It can rain the whole time but I won’t be at work or in my daily routine and I’ll never see these people again – so yeah I’m going to enjoy myself and not care what people think of my lumps in a bathing suit. I do not want to hold myself back from having fun by wasting energy beating myself up. I also know that food & booze will be had, and that I can come back afterwards and get right back into my planning/exercising/cooking routine. The goal of this trip is really to shut my brain (and phone!) off, spend time connecting with my BF, and FINALLY seeing blue water! I swear it feels like seeing Disney world for the first time – BLUE FREAKING WATER. Isla Mujeres is known for reefs, diving, snorkeling and all that. I just can’t wait to be a part of it myself. Never thought this day would come!

BF and I have also identified a few possible places to move, so that change will be coming up soon too. We got approved for a seriously cool but expensive place. Again, one of those things that I never thought I’d do in my life – move to some artsy, well protected, clean and quiet place with a seriously awesome gym. We will see what works out though!

If you can’t tell, I’ve been realizing more and more lately that I let my brain hold me back from A LOT. “Oh, I don’t deserve a vacation like this! How could little ol’ me live in such a cool apartment? Oh I couldn’t possibly buy myself a new shirt, I’m too fat!” and stuff like that. WHY?!?!?! I’m trying to SHUT THIS DOWN. Thinking positively is one thing, but holding yourself back? That is just a shame. I am really working on hearing and stopping that little voice.

OH! I finally got the comprehensive results on my heart stuff back from the doc. I DO have extra beats, but they seem to be the harmless kind. So I’m not crazy! We’re going to keep an eye on it. My doctor wants me to let her know if I experience anything crazy while working out and all. I’m going to get back into the WALKING routine soon and focus on building the speed and distance of THAT before trying to run again. I need to convince myself that walking DOES equal fitness and I don’t need to be some marathon runner to feel like I burned some calories. I am going to do some more research and write up an ST plan too. Very important!

All that being said, I haven’t weighed myself in a while. I am probably more okay with that than I should be. I haven’t been BAD, actually we’ve been eating at home a lot, I just haven’t been working out. Now I know that my heart isn’t trying to kill me and I can get back into it. BF and I didn’t even buy groceries this week because of the trip, and I still haven’t fallen apart so I’m thinking some of these healthy habits are actually stickin’! BUT I’m thinking the post-vacation weigh in will be a good time to kick myself in the butt again so… guess I’ll be there in go mode after next week!

Hope all of you are doing well, and please feel free to share your fave ST moves with me, I’m gathering and planning! Also - any BEACH reads you like?! I'm trying to collect favorite books too! THANKS!
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are probably in Mexico now, so have a great time and enjoy yourself!!!!

    PS. I'm so glad your heart results are fine!

    1798 days ago
    What an insightful blog. I too have issues thinking that I don't deserve things. Just recently answered a discussion question on whether I thought I was valuable. Weight problems tend to make people feel "less than". We're not - we just have a different set of issues & they are very visible. I do think it makes us kinder because we can empathize (or at least is should).

    Enjoy your trip ! You deserve it !!! emoticon
    1802 days ago
  • KELLY19770
    Glad your ticker is ok!! And have fun in MEXICO!!

    Oh, and you DO deserve all of the good, cool, wonderful things that you come across in lie, including Mexico and a cool, new apartment!
    1806 days ago
    Sometimes we just need to throw some z's out there.
    1806 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    Good to hear the heart thing is ok. Have fun on your vacation! Breaks can be really helpful!
    1806 days ago
    a lot of the other tourists that you see will be way bigger than you, so don't worry about that! it's your vacation, do what you want!
    1806 days ago
    I'm so happy to hear that the palpitations aren't something harmful. Phew!
    I'm with you on just having fun on the trip and not giving a flying fig what people think. You are right, you won't be seeing them again anyway.
    I hope you have the best time ever . Please take pics of the beautiful blue water for us.
    1806 days ago
  • IRP1114
    Can't wait to hear all about your vacation. Glad things are looking up : )!
    1806 days ago
    Sounds like things are going great for you! i can't wait to hear about your trip, please please please message me after to tell me all about it :) and i am the same way about that little voice in my head i can't turn it off but the more aware i am of it the less impact it seems to have on my body image. I still need to drop quite a few pounds but i'm starting to love myself more by not letting that voice tell me what I can't do. Have a wonderful time in Mexico and live up every moment of it

    1806 days ago
    have great vaction ! take tons of pic's .
    1806 days ago
    I am so glad the doctor said you are okay! I hope you have a fabulous vacation with lots of fun in the sun:D
    1807 days ago
    So creative, lol.

    Your BF rocks. Glad he helped you out. I'll have to keep an eye out for those Cooking LIght Meals. I haven't seen them, but I haven't necessarily been on the lookout either. I am totally into quick easy and healthy meals.

    Really glad and excited for you about the your vacation. You deserve it and I think you are going into it with the perfect mindset. We'll be here when you get back. You just go embrace the adventure of it all and have a blast!

    Happy to hear that your heart situation isn't some horrible thing. Feeling those flutters is scary though. Glad your doc took it seriously and will help keep an eye on it.

    Also, your paragraph about catching yourself holding you back. That's very wise. I catch those things too. It amazes me how very subtle and fast those thoughts come without me even being aware sometimes. The fact that you are identifying them means you have the power to overcome them. That's awesome.

    Have fun and see ya when you get back!
    1807 days ago
  • GINACAN1987
    I am glad you're going on vacation! We all need to treat ourselves sometimes, even if we try to hold ourselves back from it. :)
    1807 days ago
    So glad you've got the results and it's nothing serious! YAY!

    Some good reads: Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern, Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen, The Carrie Diaries (It's just plain fun) by Candace Bushnell

    If you're into audiobooks: Bossypants by Tina Fey, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling, anything by & read by Nora Ephron, Chelsea Handler's books. Chelsea's books are all pretty similar though.

    I get most of my st moves from pinterest. I don't really think I have a favorite at this point. You can check them out at chodges83. I usually take down ones I don't like, so the ones on there are ones I've tried and like or haven't tried at all, haha! That may not be helpful since I don't indicate which is which.

    1807 days ago
    Soooo glad to hear that the heart thing is harmless!

    There is an ongoing debate about whether running or walking is better for you, and I think people are concluding that it depends on what your end goals are. Running is supposed to be better for losing weight, but walking is equally beneficial (sometimes more so) to your health even though it takes longer to burn calories. There was an episode of NPR about this...
    1807 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by BONOLICIOUS2